Posts Tagged Horror

Resident Evil Afterlife Trailer:LOOK 3D! LOOK 3D! Did We Mention It’s 3D?!

3d zombWell, it’s nearly time for the steadily declining Resident Evil franchise to lower the bar a bit. Resident Evil: Afterlife, is scheduled for a September 10th release and its latest trailer can’t seem to stop trying to illustrate how good…its 3D will be. In fact, it’s the first text in the trailer; after a long flying sequence and before we see a lick of action, the film makers feel the need to inform the viewer that this movie was “filmed with the James Cameron/Vincent Price Fusion Camera System.” Oh boy that sounds neat-o; I’m sure the storyline is going to be Shakespeare.

It’s not just crappy writing that bothers me here, but the fact that the trailer goes out of its way to say “better come for the 3D because that’s all we got going on.”  The 3D is literary shoved in your face with every shot: Milla tossing glaives at the screen, Milla aiming her shotguns in you’re face, a plane flying at the screen, Milla jumping at the screen away from zombies, and even ridiculous non-action based gimmicky shots just for the sake of exploiting the 3D further like Wesker throwing his sunglasses at the screen. The only break from this mess of cheap cinematography is more text, explaining that those nifty aforementioned cameras are “THE WORLD’S MOST ADVANCED 3D TECHNOLOGY.” I wonder if this film is going to be in 3D?

The only aspect of the trailer that’s more offensive than the shameless 3D promo is the obvious plants of recent and recognizable baddies from Resident Evil 5. Both the giant axe wielding executioner and one of those stupid Los Plagos infected “not zombies” with the four way opening jaws soak up a good chuck of screen time in the trailer. Guess you have to hook your average illiterate gamer into going to see this somehow since they weren’t able to read the third block of text that just flashed on the screen, “Experience a New Dimension,” which – if you haven’t noticed – hints that this film is, indeed, filmed in 3D.

All cynicism and sarcasm aside, it’s still Milla doing what she does, and while she has to be the most typecast actress in Hollywood, she does have a charm, a screen presence, that seems to transcend the offensiveness of the hokey films she often stars in. Honestly, I could watch her read the phone book in thigh-high boots for two hours, so I’m sure I can find something enjoyable about her bouncing around in 3D combat.  Besides, I’ve followed this franchise like a beaten puppy dog, through over ten video-games and three half-assed movies, so sadly I’ll be there. But I won’t like it.

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The Descent: Part 2 – No Light In The Darkness

d2This post may contain spoilers.

As I’ve said many times on this blog, 2005′s The Descent was not only one of the best horror films of the past decade, it was my favorite.  Writer and director Neil Marshall crafted a terrifying tale about a group of girlfriends who become trapped in an uncharted cave system and are stalked by mutant humanoid creatures.  It was loaded with atmosphere.  You felt like you were trapped in there with them because Marshall executed his film perfectly – minimal light, subtle score, and (gasp) a believable premise with believable characters.

And as I’ve also said before here, I’ve been weary of The Descent: Part 2 ever since I first read about it.  I didn’t want it to take any magic away from the original and without Marshall’s involvement, it seemed doomed for failure.  Still, it would have been unfair for me to write it off without giving it a fair chance so I picked up a copy today and settled in for some more spelunking mayhem.

The Descent: Part 2 picks up immediately where the first left off (if you completely disregard the original British ending, that is….grrr) with Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) escaping from the cave three days after the group first entered.  She’s found by a local truck driver/weirdo and is quickly admitted to the hospital where we find out that she’s forgotten everything that’s just happened to her.  This plot contrivance comes in handy for when the nonsensically foolish and aggressive local sheriff decides to force her back into the cave to find the rest of her friends.  Sorry for all of the italics, but they’re necessary.  Sarah, who has been traumatized out of her mind, is being forced to go back into the cave and no one objects?  It makes not one iota of sense.  But maybe I’m being too snarky here?

descentNope.  I’m not.  From this point, The Descent: Part 2 is a gradual, steady, descent (awful pun intended) into hell – not the good horror movie kind, either.  Writers J Blakeson and James McCarthy seem to disagree with Marshall’s idea that believability enhances scariness.  On top of Sarah’s baffling return into the cave, the writers also expect us to believe that the sheriff and his inexperienced deputy would go with her and three rescue pros sans training or even a one-minute prep speech.  Nonsense.  What’s more is that there’s an abandoned mine shaft elevator that leads directly into the cave system and apparently the only one who knows about it is the truck driver who found Sarah.  The icing on the cake of this part of the plot (mind you, we’re only about 10 minutes in) is how the old man describes his grandfather’s discovering of the cave system and his subsequent disappearance.

“Looks like they broke clean through to hell and the devil was mighty pissed.”  (Wince.)

Beyond the lack of believability, basically nothing works for this film.  Gone is the intelligent quintet of women who came prepared (or at least thought they did) and tried to stick together when the craziness started.  In their stead, we’re left with a group of cliche horror characters who fail to see the value of teamwork.  Even Sarah, the first film’s dominant heroine, runs off like a fool after her memory returns.  That’s right – instead of trying to escape the way they came in, she heads deeper into the cave that nearly killed her.  Sorry, I guess I’m backtracking into that believability thing again.

Perhaps most frustrating about The Descent: Part 2 is how it takes the first film’s best elements and bastardizes them into trite horror conventions.  Scares where you least expect them have been replaced with cheap jumps exactly where you expect them.  Before almost every attack, there’s the requisite shot of a crawler creeping up a wall in the background.  Additionally, Marshall’s idea of a subtle score has been pushed aside to make way for something that would better belong in a Michael Bay blockbuster.  Shrieking strings and banging drums accompany the chase scenes while horns tend to telegraph the jump scares, making the film feel like any run-of-the-mill horror release.

descent3Gore has been kicked up a notch for this sequel in order for it to appear more extreme because the gorier, the scarier, right?  Ugh.  Sure, the first one had some good pick axe kills and even an eye gouge, but this one uses gore in an attempt to keep the audience interested.  Every time that a crawler bites someone’s jugular, the ensuing fountain of blood is excessive and often ends up in another character’s mouth.  Then there’s the uber-necessary scene where Sarah and the deputy are standing in a pool of murky water revealed to be a toilet after a crawler takes a shit on them.  I fucking kid you not.  Despite being bunch of blind, slimy cannibals, they’re still well potty trained.  Who knew?

The script also has more groan-inducing moments than I can bare to describe.  The writers attempt to insert genuine heartfelt scenes where they don’t belong.  They’re cheap and they all come off as hokey, especially the parallel they draw between the deputy and her daughter and Sarah and her daughter.  In the original film, Sarah has strange daydream moments where she sees/hears her dead daughter.  They’re always appropriately mysterious and ominous but in this sequel, they take the potential subtext of those scenes (sadness, tragedy) and ham it up all over the place.  It’s enough to make you want to yell at the screen.

Despite all of these aspects, I made it through about 75% of the film thinking it was going to escape as “mediocre to sub-par” until my jaw dropped, my eyes glazed over and I uttered “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”  As the asshole sheriff was about to meet his maker, Juno shows up and takes down a crawler Schwarzenegger style.  Really?  We’re supposed to believe that she fought off all those crawlers after receiving a pick axe through the leg?  I hate this movie.

I know.  That's how I feel too.

I know. That's how I feel too.

That’s about all you need to know, folks.  There are plenty of other dreadful things to be found, including “moments” between Sarah and Juno and a truly ridiculous ending that makes zero sense.  It’s like the writers watched the original film and made an effort to cheapen everything that was great about it.  If you loved Neil Marshall’s The Descent, don’t watch this one.  It bears no resemblance to its progenitor.

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Shiver – Holy Crap, Horror Movies Can Still Scare Me?

ShiverI swear, sometimes I think Netflix’s watch instantly horror suggestions are purposely and vindictively chosen to annoy me.  Why else would they recommend House of 1,000 Corpses or lead me astray with Keeper of Souls?  The process of finding a quality horror film on Netflix is disheartening at best and an infuriating waste of time at worst.  But, masochistically, I still do it because I just might get lucky with a random choice.  So, when my girlfriend recently read the synopsis for a 2006 Spanish film called Shiver to me, I agreed to give it a shot.  She rarely chooses horror but when she does, she usually picks good ones (unlike myself).

The plot focuses on Santi (Junio Valverde), a teen with photophobia who gets burned instantly by sunlight and is forced to attend night school.  In essence, he’s a modern day vampire (the kind without sparkles, thank you).  Coupled with issues surrounding his estranged parents, Santi’s medical condition causes him to be a pariah and an easy target for ridicule.  He’s socially awkward, has few friends and frequently has nightmares where he’s bursting into flames.  At the encouragement of his doctor, Santi and his mother, Julia (Mar Sodupe), trade in big city living for a house in a remote country village where the sun rarely shines.

Things seem normal in this little town for, oh, about 12 hours following Santi’s arrival until a farmer’s sheep is viciously slaughtered by some sort of monster in the woods.  The farmer fires his shotgun at the creature, but it quickly escapes.  The farmer drags the dead sheep into a shop run by Dimas (the man Santi and Julia are renting their house from) and exclaims that this is the third of his animals to be slaughtered in such a way.  When Julia inquires if the woods are dangerous, Dimas simply advises staying away from them.  The next day, Tito, one of Santi’s classmates, is kicking a rock down the road when he accidentally sends it into the woods.  While retrieving it, he sees a creepy set of eyes (Suspiria homage, much?), hears a growling sound, and decides to book it.  Smart choice, kid.  That same night, Santi hears growling emanating from the attic above his bedroom.

The next day, the two boys and another friend (Jonas) decide to hunt down the beast in the woods.  Sounds very logical to me.  I know I’d be quick to confront an unknown, growling, sheep-slaughtering beast.  But I digress.  Frightened after the beast runs past them, Tito flees and Santi takes off after him leaving Jonas alone.  Jonas is killed and mutilated in no time and Santi becomes the town’s prime suspect.

Eskalofrio1_galeriaBigThat much will suffice for plot purposes here.  What I’ve failed to mention thus far is how brilliantly this film is executed.  Director Isidro Ortiz and Art Director Pilar Revuelta (Oscar-winner for Pan’s Labryinth) create an incredibly tense atmosphere by shooting the film in eerie blue and gray hues, keeping the pace fast with clever editing, and not relying on jump scares.  The first half of the film is probably the scariest and most unnerving thing I’ve seen in years.  At one point following a terrifyingly creepy stalking scene, I looked at my girlfriend and with a bit of surprise, said, “this is…really fucking scary.”  That says a lot about Shiver.  That never happens to me.

What allows Shiver to maintain its creepiness throughout the first half is its sense of mystery.  What is this thing stalking the local residents?  Ortiz gives us some decent glimpses at a long-haired shadowy figure without giving it away.  However, it’s this excellent first act that sets the latter half up for a somewhat lackluster finish.  I don’t want to give anything away here, but suffice it to say that when the big “reveal” happens, it takes the wind out of the sails.  Once that mystery was gone, I wasn’t as scared.  It’s really too bad, because Shiver had the potential to be one of the best horror films I’ve ever seen but it couldn’t maintain the momentum it built.  That said, it’s still one of the better and certainly one of the scariest films I’ve seen in a long time.  The first half alone has enough suspense, terror and atmosphere to make this one still highly recommended.  Netflix, you’ve done me a kindness, finally.

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Is This Your House? Have You Got Any ‘CGI’ Shotguns in There?

Tony ToddTony Todd will be reprising his role as Ben for Zebediah’s Desoto’s “Epic, living Monet,” CGI thingy (probably a mess) take on the much redone Night of the Living Dead, Night of the Living Dead Origins. Todd, who played Ben almost twenty years ago, will step behind a computer generated likeness of himself and give a voice to what looks like, at first glance, a bad survival horror video game character. However, after rumors of Mos Def taking on the role, Todd taking up the reins of horror’s greatest tragic hero is probably the best decision Desoto has made since he decided to make this thing. Todd, most famous for his role as the Candyman, is  at least genre tested, and fan approved. No matter how hokey his roles get he’s just always freaking cool.

The film, on the other hand, may not meet such approval. Desoto’s latest comment seems to imply it’s going to be a vessel for relating his views on modern violence in some strange artistic manner. In a recent interview Desoto rambled on, “I wanted to make this look like a living Monet; it’s expressionism,” and in an interview before that he rambled some more, “It’s going to be the first zombie movie played on a epic scale. This is thenightben Empire of the Sun of zombie films…I lived through the L.A. riots and saw the city on fire; I remember seeing people running, people getting pulled out of cars. And with 9/11, these images have been ingrained on people of my generation. I just thought that is the way it would really be, a lot of chaos.” Since he’s a newcomer, I will withhold judgment until it premiers, but with NOTLD 68′ we have reached the point where Romero’s masterpiece has become a canvas for everyone else to smear their own art all over, and almost guarantee a build-in audience to gawk at it. Start with a blank sheet, people. And imagine something fresh, your own!

Still, I digress, Tony Todd will be a welcome addition to this project and perhaps his willingness to sign on to it says something about the quality of the script. However, Bill Moseley – of Rob Zombie movies fame – will also be reprising his role of Johnny, whose judgment of scripts doesn’t do much for me. Actors and their previous work aside, Origins’ success will just depend on Desoto’s vision and his execution of it. I’m anxious to see what he comes up with. Can’t be worse than Night 3D! Can it?        

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Bloody Birthday – Curtis Is Such An Asshole

bloodybirthdayEvery once in a while, I’ll receive a movie from Netflix that I don’t remember adding to my queue like this week’s Bloody Birthday (1981).  Perhaps I took some shoddy advice from a Bloody-Disgusting forum member.  Maybe I took to my keyboard in a drunken stupor some months ago.  Whatever happened, I decided to go into this one cold without even reading the movie description on the sleeve.  From the disc art, it looked like it could be a cheesy 80′s slasher, so I was gearing up for some teenage slaughter mayhem.  Turns out there is slaughter, but not in the form I expected.

In the film’s prologue (after a long and annoying titles sequence), we learn that three children were born in the town of Meadowvale, California in 1970 during a solar eclipse.  Fast forward 10 years later and a series of bizarre murders in Meadowvale kicks off with a teenage couple fooling around in everyone’s favorite cliched horror film make out spot – the local graveyard.  The suave male, who happens to look like Scott Baio during his Charles In Charge days, convinces his girl that sex in a freshly dug grave is the next best thing.  Predictably, someone attacks the couple in the grave, killing him with a shovel and strangling her with a rope.

The next day, police question students at the town’s elementary school because the murder weapon is revealed to be a jump rope.  Here, we’re introduced to our three eclipse children – Curtis (Billy Jayne), Debbie (Elizabeth Hoy), and Steven (Andy Freeman) who we learn not only share a birthday but also enjoy watching Debbie’s older sister (Julie Brown of Earth Girls Are Easy fame) dance naked through a peephole and oh yeah, murder people.  That’s right, explained by some astrological bullshit about Saturn being blocked during their births, these three devils were born without a conscience and love to murder people.

Picture 3

Little Bastards...

Bloody Birthday lays all of its cards out on the table within the first 15 minutes but that isn’t my biggest complaint.  By 1981, the “creepy kids” motif had certainly been done before with Children of the Damned and The Omen being the most prominent examples, but it wasn’t yet the cliche that it is today.  What does annoy me is that these kids truly do act like 10-year-olds.  Meaning, they’re idiots.  They need to take some creepiness lessons from Damien – you don’t find him firing revolvers at teachers in a school where he could easily get caught.  Plausible deniability, kids.  Read up.  Of course they don’t get caught and the incompetent local police doesn’t try to determine cause of death beyond “killed by psycho”.  Seriously, one guy gets beaten over the head with a baseball bat and his death is attributed to hitting his head after tripping on a skateboard.  Another girl gets shot in the eye with a bow and arrow, her body left on the street, annnnnnnd….no indication of cause of death!  Must’ve been that damn illusive “psycho” that’s wandering around our little town!

The trio is uncovered by classmate Timmy Russell (K.C. Martel) after a failed attempt to lock him in a refrigerator at the local junkyard.  Timmy’s sister Joyce (Lori Lethin) joins the fight after she discovers Curtis trying to poison birthday guests with rat poison.  It all leads to an underwhelming conclusion that lacks any suspense (as the rest of the film does).

Also of note is the film’s terrible score which deftly segues from Brady Bunch inspired jingles to Kenny G saxophone-laden sex scenes.  If nothing else, it’s funny to laugh at but it really detracts from the “creepy kid” atmosphere that director Ed Hunt is trying to achieve.

Beyond the Swiss cheese plot, Bloody Birthday‘s main offense comes in the form of Curtis.  Oh, how I hate this little fucker.  While Debbie irritates me with her false angel act (“oh, mommy!  I didn’t do anything bad, I’m a good little girl”), she doesn’t come close to Curtis.  As the dorky bespectacled dweeb of the murderous trio, he’s constantly annoying me with his faux evil smile, ridiculous gun-holding stalking scenes and general douchiness.  If this video doesn’t make you hate him, then I probably don’t like you either.

But maybe it’s not all bad.  In images, here are Bloody Birthday‘s strong points:

Picture 8

Scott Baio

Bloody Birthday1

Julie Brown's Nude Scene

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"Hot" girls in high-waisted pants

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This dog with the freaky eye

These headphones

These headphones

The Bloody Birthday DVD features a recent interview with the film’s now-elderly producer, Max Rosenberg, who explains how he wanted to make a film showing that evil can come in all forms and show the consequences of having no conscience.  I guess he achieved this but (and I feel bad for saying anything negative about the venture of an old man) he really only succeeded in creating a sub-par (sort-of?) slasher.  Next time I update my Netflix queue, I should probably lay off the booze.

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La Casa Muda – Taking Shaky-Cam Horror One Step Further?

Teaser-poster2With shaky-cam, documentary style horror films, directors aim to immerse us in the worlds of their characters.  We follow them around tight corners and see through their eyes as they run into a flesh hungry demon.  Or perhaps, we watch them stupidly argue with their girlfriend about staying in the house to become victim to said demon, but I digress.  This sub-genre actually has a strong track record with The Blair Witch Project, [REC], Quarantine, Paranormal Activity leading the way.  But now, La Casa Muda (The Silent House), an independent film from Uruguay, is bringing something new to the shaky-cam table.

First, full disclosure.  I was contacted by one of the film’s producers, who gave me some info about La Casa Muda.  I get things like this from time to time but usually I don’t write about them because frankly, I don’t care but this one piqued my interest since this sub-genre is one of my favorites.  Now that that’s out of the way…

What makes La Casa Muda most interesting is that it is the first horror movie to be filmed in one continuous shot.  That’s right – no cuts, edits, nothing.  Director Gustavo Hernandez needed to painstakingly plan every single shot and aspect of his 72-minute film before ever pressing the record button.  Cynics may say that this approach begs for mess-ups, flubbed lines, and poor acting but I’m being positive about this one.  I’m excited by the idea.  Also interesting is that this film was shot using the video capabilities of a digital SLR photo camera, specifically the Canon EOS 5D Mark II, making it the second film of its kind in the world (according to the producers – I couldn’t find the other one).

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La Casa Muda is based on a real event that took place in 1944 in an old Uruguay farmhouse where two brutally tortured bodies were found without their tongues.  Disturbing photographs found a the scene were key to solving the crime.  Based on what I’ve read, it seems that Hernandez takes this real event and uses it as the backdrop for his plot:

Laura (Florencia Colucci) and her father (Gustavo Alonso) settle down in a cottage which seems to be off the beaten track in order to update it since its owner (Abel Tripaldi) will soon put it up for sale.  They spend the night there in order to start the repairs.  Everything seems to go smoothly until Laura hears a sound that comes from outside and gets louder and louder in the upper floors of the house.  The father goes upstairs to investigate while Laura remains downstairs.

Pretty bare bones for a description, but I’m intrigued.  If nothing else, I’m interested to see how effective a $6,000 72-minute continuous shot can be.  Based on the stills I’ve seen, it looks pretty damn good.  La Casa Muda is set to premiere at a few film festivals next month.  The official website has some more info (if you speak Spanish). Check out the trailer too.

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Appreciating Horror Cliches – Volume I

I have a love/hate relationship with clichés in horror movies.  For one, I find poorly written, cliché-ridden films the easiest to review because I’m a sarcastic asshole and part of me lives to mock things.  But when I’m taking the genre seriously, searching for that ever-elusive genuine scare, clichés are a disappointing sign of lazy screenwriting and studios’ desire to satiate audiences who are either too dumb to know any better or sadly just don’t care.

You’re all familiar with them and probably roll your eyes every time you see a demonic child doing a spider-walk towards our protagonist or a suddenly irresponsive cell phone displaying the “no signal” message during a crucial moment.

So, I’ve taken it upon myself to start a little project to point out the various clichés we love and loathe.  Rather than a long, wordy blog post, I’ve chosen to briefly introduce each cliché (hopefully at the rate of one per week, but we’ll see) and create a compilation video showcasing its awesomeness/douche chilliness.  This week’s inaugural cliché is…

The False Alarm – Our protagonist is home alone.  They’re planning a quiet night of studying in their bedroom before bed but an odd noise disturbs them from their plan.  Of course, they leave the safety of their bedroom to investigate (another cliché, itself).  The camera, positioned just above their shoulder, follows them as they head toward the source of the noise – a closet, perhaps.  The noise occurs again.  Our protagonist hastily flings open the door – CUE SHRIEKING SOUND EFFECT – to reveal….a cat!  They scream and then scold the animal for freaking them out.

There are dozens of instances of the false alarm – a sudden shoulder grab, a character pretending to be dead, etc.  This overused device is meant to create tension and then reveal it to be a ploy so that when the real kill or attack happens, you won’t be ready for it.  It never really works, yet it just won’t die.  Let’s take a look.

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More Award Love

Horror blog award season seems to be wrapping up but I’d like to thank Corey and Jon from Evil On Two Legs for nominating us for not one, but all three of the awards being given.  If you don’t know already, Evil On Two Legs is a terrific blog written (much like this one) by two friends that share a passion for horror.  They also have one of the best blog names ever.  If you don’t already, be sure to check them out.

Also, a big thanks to Jay Clarke from The Horror Section for issuing us the Fantastically Frightening Award.  Jay runs a quality blog over there and has been a reader of ours since we started up almost a year ago.  Thanks, Jay!

So much love in the horror blogosphere these days.

OneLovelyBlogkreativeblogfantasticallyfrightening

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A Decade Of Horror – A Retrospective

YIRThe past ten years of horror movies have been a mixed bag of re-done, over-done, and just plain horrible. While the last decade was dominated by slasher flicks, teen horror, and zombie stayed buried, this decade was mostly dominated by new puzzles of flesh and film, a handful of redos/imports, and the return of zombies; this time with running shoes. Let’s take a painfully closer look at the defining moments of the years 2000 through 2009.

While it was ironic that both decades ended with a low budget hype factory, The Blair Witch Project (1999) and Paranormal Activity (2009), the similarities ended there. The year 2000 saw some over flow of teen horror as the Scream and Urban Legend franchises’ final chapters hit us, but aside from the Final Destination franchise, the teen horror genre didn’t seem to have the same dominance as it did in the 90’s. Instead, the 2000’s dragged in a bloody sack of imported Asian horror, torture horror, remade horror, a new brand of zombies, and, of course, our patron saint of mockery here at No Room in Hell, Rob Zombie.

The Asian Horror Invasion

I’ve related my experience with the movie The Ring (2002) before. People were on the floor almost sobbing as if Samara crawled from the screen itself when she did her deformed animal shuffle out of that TV. The scene was endlessly creepy with a fresh new feel, and unfortunately a slew of Asian horror followed her through that TV set but none of them (including The Ring’s sequel) had the power like The Ring did to make audiences believe that those rotted hands were about to emerge from your popcorn bag.

the-grudge

Haven't I seen you before?

Most offensive about this movement was that each film’s monster was almost identical. I can imagine the police lineup. “Okay ma’am which one of these undead kids with black hair and discolored skin crawled through your TV and killed your husband?” Line up the creatures from  The Ring, The Grudge (2004) Dark Water (2005), and Shutter (2008) and I’ll be damned if I could tell’em apart.

With each successive Asian horror remake to hit the U.S., the initial creepy vibe that The Ring introduced rapidly diminished.

The Asian horror invasion didn’t stop with dark hared children either. Pulse (2006) and The Eye (2008) also thought they’d be better with English and an American budget. The real question is what scares Americans more: Asian horror or subtitles?

Torture Horror

Well, I blame Saw (2004) for this genre. Granted, Saw could be its own movement considering it produced six movies in this decade, but that’s another blog post. Still, something about its formula was different, new and exciting. Years of slasher horror’s guillotine blade racing down and giving audiences a three second payoff of a face molded in death had made us desensitized, bored. Saw showed audiences that victims could suffer in cruel and unusual ways for minutes or even the whole film. While I applaud the first Saw for being different, the franchise has gone out of control and down the path of self parody since. Worse yet, it opened the doors for films like Hostel (2005), Wolf Creek (2005), and Turistas (2006).

saw3-tobin-as-jigsaw_1173913328In a genre that is constantly insulted for being formulaic, we don’t need torture horror. Slasher films took twenty years for the formula to get used up and old. Torture horror took until the closing credits of Hostel. I am not ready to jump on the “It’s just torture porn” bandwagon, but I warn developers of these type of films that this genre has very few places to go unless we have a real interesting premise like in Martyrs (2008).  I hate to paint it with the torture horror brush, but is the closest example of a movie with torture horror elements that transcended them with artistic brilliance.

My final words on this genre are “boycott Saw” and force the filmmakers to stop making them before they hurt themselves and the genre. And an open letter to Mr. Eli Roth: stick to making Thanksgiving. No Hostel III, please!

Domestic Remakes

man_eating_moneyIt’s bad enough that we imported half of Asia’s horror movies, our lack of originality has American horror producers also re-re-ing their own to get a new product on the screen. Before 2010 is out, almost every slasher icon from my childhood will have two versions. In the past ten years: Jason, Michael, Freddy, Leatherface and those good ol’ freaks from The Hills Have Eyes (1977) have all been copied and modernized. Why?

Money, of course.  Sure, our country is founded on capitalism but is it so wrong to hold on to a smidge of idealism?  You know, the idea that we could just leave a great movie untouched solely based on artistic appreciation.  Insanity, I know.

I’ll bet that right now, someone somewhere is probably trying to get their hands on Leprechaun (1993). “Come on there’s been seventeen years worth of advances in CGI. It’s time for more fun with the most disgruntled leprechaun on screen since those damn kids tried to steal Lucky’s cereal.”

Rob Zombie Crawls Out Of The Mud

Okay, I know we spend a lot of time on this site being harsh to Rob Zombie, but I feel it’s honestly with the love of a disappointed parent. His awesome music populated the background of my high school years and we all marveled at his talent when we found out he had hands in creating the peyote dream from Beavis and Butthead Do America (1996). Obviously a talented artist, Zombie making a film made sense, and since teen horror was ruling the day when he announced his project, horror fans waited for Rob to arrive with it like Moses coming back down from Sinai.

HalloweenInstead of a leader to bring us into a new age of horror, we got an inexperienced filmmaker unloading a poorly edited mess of tied up cheerleaders, people in bunny costumes, strange misplaced monsters, dream sequences, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenarios. Was it supposed to be a joke? Was it supposed to be scary? I would just like to ask him in the most serious way possible what he was trying to do.

The house was not only packed with too many corpses, but too many characters, too many clichés, too much fluff in general. The best way I can put it is the parts that were original made no sense or were tonally awkward, and everything else was very unoriginal. Part of me thinks it was supposed to be some kind of homage, but to this day I’m not sure.

The Devil’s Rejects illustrated a little bit of a learning curve on Zombie’s part. The film’s opening sequence wastes most of his irrelevant characters and plot elements with Swat team gunfire, and to his credit, everything that remains resembles a tighter narrative structure and manageable character development. Wisely, Zombie even throws in Ken Foree, portraying a pimp – the film’s best character – for good measure. Even though this piece resembles a film, at least, and had some redeeming value, I still think it illustrated that Zombie had a bit to learn about being scary, directing, writing, etc…

Then he moved on to Halloween, which is a move that baffles me. For a guy that loves film and the horror genre to not realize that remakes are what’s wrong with the industry is beyond me. Furthermore, Zombie has barely been able to put together a decent vision of his own, before he started making a mockery of someone else’s.

halloween-2007-01-4The main issue with Zombie’s films thus far is not so much his directing as it is his writing.  Particularly with The Devil’s Rejects and Halloween, Zombie illustrated that he at least has an eye for shot composition and pacing.  Maybe I’m giving him too much credit here because he had cinematographers work on both of these projects too.  What has remained painfully constant is his penchant for mistaking sleazy hick dialogue for disturbing dialogue.  The entire opening sequence of Halloween is unintentionally laugh-out-loud funny because it tries so hard to disturb us by showing poor little Michael and his trashy family.  The dialogue (and miserable acting) is ridiculous and just goes to show that Zombie was using the same shtick found in his previous films.  Granted, with Halloween he’s taken a stab at character development, but the results were just more clichés.

With the next ten years about to start, Rob should focus on his own work (better yet music, but if he absolutely MUST keep making horror films…) and something simple. Maybe a low budget flick with like five characters would be good at least until you get the hang of this film maker thing.

Real Zombies Crawl Out Of The Mud

The 90’s were cruel to the working class Joe of the undead world. No one had heard from Our Father, George Romero, Hallowed be his name, and his holy trinity seem destined to stay that way, just three movies. Then rumors were pushed about that he was being considered to take the helm on the Resident Evil (2002) project. Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead we got Anderson, Milla and an average zombie movie franchise that may not have been great, but it got people interested in Zombies again (and we love Milla).

28-days-laterThen, 28 Days Later blew the walls off the genre. It may not have been living dead , but zombie horror had entered the twenty first century at warp speed and this excellent film kicked the doors wide open for fast zombies and a Dawn of the Dead (2004) remake. Most fans of the original shrugged and said, “Well not as awful as I thought it was going to be,” but more importantly the interest in hordes of zombies was poppin’ again.

The return of the king came the next year with Land of the Dead (2005). Romero got to play with slow zombies and a big budget (for him), and the film itself was a decent entry into his mythos, at very least offering better closure to fans than Day of the Dead (1985). Romero since then has released two indie films in his universe – Diary of the Dead (2007) and Survival of the Dead (2009). While these have fallen upon mixed reviews, the importance of Romero doing what he does best should not be overlooked.

Zombies are pretty much everywhere now. Video games, board games, dozens of straight to DVD titles line the shelves of stores with happy rotting faces racing there covers. Even zombie comedies have become popular. Zombieland (2009) and Shaun of the Dead (2003), both zombie-comedies, were not only hilarious and excellent films but also two of the best horror films I’ve seen in years.

With these positives growing from the seeds of Resident Evil and House of the Dead (2003) it goes to show that bad movies can sometimes help to refresh a genre. Hey, maybe that’s what our buddy Rob Zombie is hoping for…maybe not.

Final Scare

Noooooooooo!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!

So, are we hopeful for the next ten years of horror? It is hard to be. One of the most telling events of where the genre is going was Let The Right One In (2008) being slated for Americanization in the form of Let Me In (2010). Originality is not spilling all over with the blood here in The States these days. Recently, fans of the genre are turning to foreign films because of their ability to be different, raw, and generally less influenced by the norms and taboos us Yanks are used to, which probably is what makes the need to import every decent horror film over here that much more offensive. Not everything good has to be seen through American-goggles.

We have to sadly acknowledge that the remake machine isn’t stopping anytime soon and focus our attention toward foreign and indie horror.  There’s a lot of crap to sort through, but there are still some gifted horror filmmakers out there somewhere waiting to take the genre in new directions.

And what would a end-of-the-decade blog post be without a list or two.  Here are our favorite films of the decade.  I think we already give enough attention to the worst of the genre around here, so we’ll forego that list. Here’s to hoping for a new movement of originality in our already saturated genre.

Happy New Year.

Chris

10. The Hamiltons (2005)

9. The Children (2008)

8. Drag Me to Hell (2009)

7. Dead Girl (2008)

6. The Descent (2005)

5. The Orphanage (2007)

4. Shaun of the Dead

3. Land of the Dead (2005)

2. Let The Right One In (2008)

1. 28 Days Later (2002)

Matt

10. Paranormal Activity (2009)

9. Frailty (2001)

8. Dog Soldiers (2002)

7. [REC] (2007)

6. Ginger Snaps (2002)

5. Martyrs (2008)

4. 28 Days Later (2002)

3. The Descent (2005)

2. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

1. Let The Right One In (2008)

And these movies got way too many props:

1) Inside (2007)

2) High Tension (2003)

3) Midnight Meat Train (2008)

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The Search For Genuine Scares – Horror Fans And Bloggers Weigh In

scared-picFear is my drug of choice (when I’m not drinking whiskey, that is).  I have memories teetering on the delicate border of fondness and trauma, ones of watching horror at a young age when I regularly became ill with fright but found it impossible to take my eyes away from the TV.  I guess you could say I traumatized myself into loving the genre because after my irrational fears subsided with age, my fascination remained.  As I once said on my guest post at Zombo’s Closet of Horror, I’m constantly trying to relive the fear I once felt because it’s a kind of “high”.  The problem is that it’s damn hard these days for us horror connoisseurs to get scared.

I started thinking about this topic a few weeks ago after finding a thread on Bloody-Disgusting where people were debating whether today’s horror is as scary as genre classics like Night of the Living Dead, Halloween, and the like.  Though the sentiment there was mixed, many people argued that there just aren’t enough genuinely scary films being made anymore.  I’ve felt this way for a long time, but usually take it at face value.  That is, I’ll simply dismiss the argument to myself, saying “well yeah, they just don’t make them like they used to,” which clearly makes me sound like a curmudgeon at the ripe old age of 26.  So I started thinking about fear in general and I asked my readers and fellow bloggers to weigh in on the topic.  What is actually scary?  First of all, thank you to everyone who took a minute and sent an email or commented.  As expected, your thoughts were insightful and encouraging to me as I contemplated this post.  Permeating throughout your comments were several common themes.

A matter of perception and experience

First and foremost, fear is a subjective feeling.  What scares me, some people will scoff at and I’ll do the same to them (read the debate Chris and I had about Paranormal Activity for a potent example).  And because fear is so inherently personal, the circumstances needed to evoke it must be just right.  As reader DLR wrote to me, “the ability of a movie to legitimately frighten me is actually dependent on a lot of other factors that I believe are very influential (where I am, who I’m with, what time of day, etc.).  I will always attest that The Exorcist and Halloween are the scariest movies I have ever seen….However, I do know people that believe that both of these movies are boring and anything but scary and I believe that the reason is mostly attributed to the context in which they watched it.”

Candyman's wrath

Candyman's wrath

I think this is an excellent point.  I remember becoming physically ill after seeing Candyman for the first time and I think that resulted mostly from being 10-years-old and watching it during a dark winter night in a room with a large mirror.  The situation couldn’t have been more perfect for me to be scared shitless.  Tash from Zombietronics seems to share my mirror phobia, saying “It’s kinda silly of me but any movies where things appear in mirrors behind the main character really get to me and I spent the rest of the night avoiding looking into mirrors.”  Trust me, I understand.

I’m old and jaded, something new please?

It’s no coincidence that my most traumatic horror movie memories are from when I was a child.  It’s easier to be impacted when you haven’t been exposed to as much horror.  Of course that’s an obvious point, but it came up multiple times in your comments.  Reader Scoob writes, “I love all types of horror, from movies to comic books to literature, but I guess I’m just old and immune.”  Jay from The Horror Section echos this sentiment, saying, “when you’ve seen hundreds upon hundreds of horror films, you tend to become desensitized.”

MemorialDay

Masked killer stalks teens...zzzzzz

As horror fans, we’re the toughest audience to please and we’re the harshest critics because we’ve seen it all.  Another masked murderer, another decapitation, another demonic child.  It gets old, doesn’t it?  As the genre has evolved, filmmakers have consistently invented new ways to frighten audiences, as evidenced by the various sub-genres we all know and love – slashers, zombies, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and the list goes on.  But with the invention of each new sub-genre, comes an inherent challenge.  Filmmakers must be creative to keep the idea fresh or they succeed only in creating weaker derivatives of the initial concept.  Take the slasher film for example.  Its origins can (arguably) be traced to Psycho, Black Christmas and Halloween.  As time went on, carbon copies of the concept continued to be produced until we ended up with gems like Valentine and Memorial Day.  The point is, it takes creativity and originality to be scary.

While general audience horror continues to be dull, with movies usually falling into one of a few camps -  safe for non-horror fan flicks (Vacancy, 1408), remakes (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Prom Night, need I go on?), and gorefests (Saw series, Hostel, Touristas), foreign and independent filmmakers have brought some hope back.

“I am quite relieved to see that there seems to be a sort of genesis or horror rebirth going on right now through independent films,” Scoob says. “And thank god for foreign horror movies.  There are some truly great ones out there.  On the independent scene it seems they are/were true fans of the genre from an early age like a lot of us and in becoming filmmakers are returning to those roots to make truly frightening and good horror flicks.”

So, what DOES scare you?

It’s tough for movies to get under our skin these days, but here are the ones that do.  I’ve paraphrased some of your comments where necessary for length and relevance to this particular part of the post. For those of you who didn’t participate, please note that these lists are only of movies that actually scared us.  That doesn’t mean we don’t love other “non-scary” horror movies like Let The Right One In and The Host.  Anyway, here are the results:

Me (Matt/No Room In Hell)

  • SAW_1Sheet_CompsHalloween – Hands down the scariest film of all time because of Carpenter’s enigmatic, emotionless killer, superb shot composition and terrifying score.  This film has so much atmosphere and style that it can make a summer day feel like October.
  • The Exorcist – There’s just something so wrong with this film.  It gets to me because it juxtaposes youthful innocence with pure evil, not to mention that its effects still hold up today.
  • The Descent – The world’s most claustrophobic movie with a mutated monster twist.  Neil Marshall’s use of low light and excellent creature designs really make this movie a harrowing experience.
  • Candyman – As previously stated, this movie made me physically ill as a child and I was unable to look into a mirror the same way again for years.  It’s terrifying because of its gritty, gory nature and it warns you not to mess with something you can’t control.
  • The Shining – Stephen King purists, say what you will but Kubrick’s version of this tale scares its audience through evil images (those twins get me every time) and an impending sense of dread that builds ever so slowly until it boils over.
  • Paranormal Activity – The scariest movie I’ve seen in a theater to date, probably.  It’s not for everyone, but Oren Peli created a movie that builds tension until it eerily explodes in the film’s final seconds.  The scariest thing about this one is that it stays with you after you leave.  I literally couldn’t sleep well that evening and I now keep my bedroom closet door closed at night.
  • The Blair Witch Project – Despite the hate it gets, this is truly one of the most innovative horror movies ever made.  It makes you feel like you’re experiencing what the on screen characters are and succeeds in being terrifying by forcing your imagination to fill in the gaps.
  • Audition – This one came out of nowhere and went from moderately boring to scary in a matter of seconds.  As soon as that bag moves, you just think “oh shit”.
  • The Changeling – My favorite old school ghost story that relies on a strong story and visuals rather than jump scares.  Who knew a little red ball and a wheelchair could be so frightening?

Jay Clarke/The Horror Sectionrec

  • The Descent – I saw an early screening to a packed house and everyone there was ready to hit the roof.  I think it works so well because it packs a one-two punch.  First, there is the whole uncomfortable claustrophobia angle and then all the craziness with the creatures that follows.  This movie is a powerhouse and I’ll be surprised if this isn’t on most horrorphiles’ tops of the decade lists.
  • REC – With almost not a scrap of excess fat, this is a film that throws you right into an intense ordeal, making you feel you are right in it.  Even though its shot in shaky cam style, the filmmakers are so skilled, they always make sure you see what you need to.  I saw REC 2 in September and it is just as potent as the original.
  • Asian Horror – Now, over the years the whole Asian thing has played itself out and become fairly derivative (Thailand is still releasing solid fare though) but when it started, it was very powerful stuff.  I bought a VHS bootleg of Ringu over Ebay circa 2001 and it did not disappoint.  The quality was horrid, but the atmosphere was so thick it stayed with me for a long time after.  My first viewing of Ju-on at a festival screening in 2003 was just as frightening, as I was in the front row and the sound system was cranked.  The scariest experience with an Asian import has always been The Eye though.  At a festival screening in 2002, this movie left an sizable imprint on me.
  • The Blair Witch Project & Paranormal Activity –  I feel I should mention these two.  They were freaky movies to be sure, but I really didn’t feel their full power until later when I was alone.  Some movies can short circuit your logic and just make you sure there’s something in the room with you.  Lying in bed, you can open your eyes to prove there’s nothing there, but why would you want to?  What if you’re wrong?
  • Open Water – There were only a few people in the theatre, so there were no distractions.  It was just me and the screen.  I should say that if there is one thing in the world I’m afraid of, it’s sharks and the scenario put forth in Open Water is like my worst nightmare realized.  The ending of that movie traumatized me for days.

DLR

  • exorcistThe Exorcist -  I remember watching The Exorcist late at night when I was 9 years old and seeing Linda Blair’s head spin around her body was traumatizing.
  • Halloween – I was a little older when I first saw Halloween but I watched it alone on a cloudy, autumn afternoon and remember being terrified by the idea that a masked murderer could walk around in daylight and stalk his prey.

Wally

  • Darkness Falls - I know it’s a strange one, but the Toothfairy properly scares me.
  • Return to Oz – The Wheelers are equally frightening.
  • Ringu – On a more serious note, the iconic image of Sadako crawling out of the TV really sticks with you.
  • Eden Lake – The chav teenagers from are an all too real fear in this world at the moment.

Tash/Zombietronics

  • 11577_17_poster_1_f(1)Funny Games
  • The Strangers
  • Paranormal Activity – I have decided not to see it because I know I won’t sleep.

Gareth/The Amazing Movie Show

  • Paranormal Activity – I’ll be seeing it again next week when it’s released on Blu-ray, but I have to say I did find it genuinely unsettling when I first saw it.
  • The Haunting – My old stand-by.  Scared the crap out of me when I was 12 and the sound still get me to this day.

Greg/Minds of Greg

  • Growing old. Not dying, but growing old. Each year I get just a tad more depressed knowing that one day I’m going to be a lot slower, not able to move as much as I used to, need pills to survive and keep doing, can’t get an erection, body just getting weaker, etc. That’s my fear.

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