Archive for category Rants
Let Me In Trailer Released – This Just Isn’t The “Right” One
Posted by Matt in New Releases, Rants, Trailers on July 1st, 2010
As you’ve probably seen on a variety of other blogs and movie sites, the first trailer has been released for Matt Reeves’ Let Me In, the upcoming remake to the much acclaimed (and personal favorite) Let The Right One In. I’ve been dreading this thing since hearing about it more than a year ago and while this trailer hasn’t inspired rage in me, it has only furthered my suspicion that this film will be a completely unnecessary rehash of the original. Based on the shots included in the trailer, it seems that Reeves has worked to keep a lot of Tomas Alfredson’s stylistic dark imagery and maintain the tone of John Ajvide Lindqvist’s novel but something seems, well, wrong to me here. The source material was never meant to be set to some moody rock song, Colorado just isn’t Sweden, and I don’t remember Oskar to be the kind of kid to whisper “do you think there’s such a thing as evil?”
Beyond those surface details and nit-picky complaints, I have doubts that Reeves will have the balls to explore the uncomfortable topics of sexual attraction amongst pre-teens, pedophilia, castration, and gender confusion in his remake. These are the elements that make the book and original film so disturbing and intriguing. I think that, best case scenario, we’ll end up with a film about loneliness with a vampire twist. But wait, we already have that and so much more.
Martyrs Remake To Star Kristen Stewart, Lose Intellect
The perfect Martyrs cast
Sometimes I try to limit the amount of cynical content I write on this blog to avoid sounding like I’m just being bitter for the sake of it. But when news like this comes along, I’ve got nothing else to work with. That’s right, if it wasn’t bad enough that the Twilight producers are aiming to remake Martyrs, producer, Wyck Godfrey, is now saying that he wants Kristen Stewart to play one of the leads (presumably Anna). Why don’t we just go ahead and cast Pattinson as the brutal torture guy? Back when I bitched about this remake a few weeks ago, my esteemed co-author, Chris, joked about possibly having the pleasure of seeing Stewart punched in the face repeatedly. He was joking but it looks like we may get to see that after all.
In his interview with Fearnet, Godfrey also noted that they “are doing it for an American audience with an American cast” which I can’t help but read as “doing it for a stupid audience with a stupid cast.” Citing that the original movie is “not remake-able in its form for an American audience,” Godfrey seems to reveal that either the sheer brutality or intellect of the original is too much for American audiences to consume. How sad and insulting is that? So, as I had initially hypothesized, it seems like we’re looking at yet another unnecessary dumbed-down remake.
Yeah, I know. File this one under the “pointless bitching about remakes” category.
The Dark Tower: A Ron Howard Film? Color Me Skeptical.
Posted by Matt in Books, New Releases, News, Rants on April 30th, 2010
News is hitting the blogosphere this morning that Ron Howard and producer Brian Grazer and writer/producer Akiva Goldsman have purchased the film rights to Stephen King’s The Dark Tower - easily my favorite books he’s written. Previously, J.J. Abrams had purchased the rights from King for $19 (you’ll know the significance if you’ve read the books) but returned them to the author after realizing he wouldn’t be able to do the series justice. It is being reported that Howard intends to shoot a movie that will lay the foundation for a TV series.
While I think The Dark Tower deserves some kind of film adaptation, this news makes me nervous for a couple of reasons. In my ideal world, each book from The Dark Tower series would be made into a series of HBO or Showtime episodes ala True Blood (well, minus all the vampire sex). I really don’t see any other way to do the books justice because of their intricate plot layers, flashbacks, and character depth. Inevitably, any kind of adaptation will inspire ire from fans for one reason or another but I think an HBO approach would significantly reduce complaints. Howard seems to be talking regular cable, which really sucks. The Dark Tower books are often gritty, violent, and sexual. Obviously they’re going to lose most of that by airing on NBC or something.
Also, is Howard really the right director? He’s brilliant and responsible for some great films but how will the director of The Da Vinci Code treat our epic hero, Roland? I felt more comfortable with Abrams owning the rights as he is a more experienced sci-fi/horror genre director and writer. Then again, he did write Armageddon and Mission Impossible III. Bah. I guess I’m one of those ire-filled fans I was just writing about. I’ll never be completely satisfied with the end product, I’m sure. Let’s just hope this doesn’t go the route of IT – a great and very violent/graphic book dulled down by network television. Do our boy Roland some justice, will ya?
Serbian Film – Artistic Statement Or Bloody Excess?
Posted by Matt in New Releases, Rants, Trailers on March 24th, 2010
Well this one has me waxing all philosophical. I’ve seen several posts on a couple of my favorite film blogs, Pajiba and Filmdrunk, about the upcoming horror/gore movie Serbian Film (Srpski Film) that screened recently at SXSW. From the trailer, which I will embed below with the warning that is a)EXTREMELY NSFW and b)RIDICULOUSLY GRAPHIC, Serbian Film seems to be Hostel with about 200 times more intense sexual violence. We’re talking shit that might even make Antichrist‘s mutilation scene look tame.
The plot, which I have not investigated further than the trailer, appears to be about Milosh, a semi-retired porn star who is lured into doing one last film for a large sum of money under the condition that he is not allowed to know what the film is about. Unfortunately for Milosh, it seems that he’s become trapped in the world of “high-art pornography” which appears to ride the snuff film border or even cross it and he is forced to do horrific things to save his life. I’ve read that it has one of the most disturbing endings ever written.
So, for better or for probably worse, my interest is piqued mainly because of the morbid curiosity that we all have. That is, just how realistic, how gory, how disturbing can something be? I’ve been able to sit through Hostel, The Girl Next Door, Antichrist, you-name-it without any noticeable effects on me. I will say that of those aforementioned films, The Girl Next Door was the most difficult to sit through because the violence was perpetrated on such innocent victims, it was so sexual in nature, and most importantly because it felt so degrading. And that’s just what Serbian Film looks like to me – degrading pornography.
Don’t get me wrong – I certainly don’t take issue with pornography as a whole and in general, I don’t find it to be aimed at degrading women. Feminists, go ahead and beat the shit out of me here but that’s where I stand. However, there are certain types of pornography that are most certainly aimed at degrading women and I derive no pleasure from viewing them. I’ve had the misfortune of seeing a few things where women are purposely meant to either look stupid or be abused and I don’t like that at all.
Now, it seems that Serbian Film features several of these elements. There’s a graphic shot of a donkey punch (look it up) in the trailer, which is nothing short of terrible. Of course, I don’t know the full context of all this sexual violence, as I don’t know the entire plot (not that I can think of a way it wouldn’t be terrible) but it makes me internally debate what “the line” is. What’s too much? Is anything really? I’m a firm believer in freedom of speech and expression and film falls under that. What I’m left wondering is if Serbian Film legitimately has anything to say about the violence it depicts or if it’s just another attempt at being outrageous. I’ll lean toward the latter, but I may be wrong.
There’s bound to be further outrage about this film but not only am I going to see it, I will defend its right to be made. I’m in the camp of “if you don’t like it, don’t watch it.” There’s some nasty shit out there already and this is just another one to add to the pile.
Seriously, don’t watch this trailer:
Final Curtains – The Rant For Better Endings
Since we’ve been on the subject…..
When was the law written that states every horror movie has to end in either one last jump, a dream sequence, or a final scene where the remaining characters are placed back into certain doom after the audience was falsely convinced they were safe? This idea was cool, about one hundred and twenty years ago when Ambrose Bierce wrote “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” or maybe once more in the film Brazil (1985) but since then this concept has become formulaic to the point that watching the last five minutes of a horror movie is worse than doing algebra. To paraphrase Bruce Campbell from My Name is Bruce, “We just saw the monster die 65 seconds ago and now it’s back how gullible do we expect the audience to be…”
Let’s ponder… How did we get into this mess? Is it Romero’s fault for not letting Ben survive the Night of the Living Dead only to succumb to the morning of the drunken red-necks. Well, maybe, but at least there was irony to that. Maybe the fault should be placed on the Friday the 13th saga. It’s first three chapters literary duplicate their last jump, nightmare sequence, in the exact same fashion with the only variable being which character jumps out in slow-mo. Unforgivable. Then we have the Alien franchise; their surprise-an-alien-is-on-the-escape-ship has been pretty constant. Whoever is to blame, let’s all make an effort to find something better to do with last the five minutes of our films.
If we can’t, then we inspire hack horror writers like Rob Zombie, Mr. original himself, who had to end his “House of a Thousand Clichés” with a variation on this theory, but he’s not alone. Carrie, Carrie 2: The Rage, Dawn of the Dead(2004), Evil Dead, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Phantasm, The Descent (both endings), Night of the Creeps, and pretty much every Final Destination movie. While the list can go on forever, I’ll stop there and be satisfied with the fact that it shouldn’t be done anymore, because now {News Flash} everyone single person in the theater is waiting for it.
Another over used horror movie formula that grinds my gears, is having one of the victims assume the role of the killer. It’s bad enough that both Friday the 13th and Halloween pulled this throughout their run, but now the SAW franchise runs on this principal. It’s just embarrassing.
And it’s not like there aren’t better ways to end a horror film. Let’s look at the classics. Dawn of the Dead (1978), you’ve got to the choppa’ and departed for the unknown. Jaws—you swim to shore with Richard Dreyfuss. Texas Chainsaw 74’ you’re safe in the bed of a pick up. But if you have to have a all out sour ending then just take a lesson from the 1973 Wickerman and be forth right about. It’s also okay to have a happy ending with foreboding. Anthony Perkins eerie smirk at the end of Psycho (1960) has been getting the job done for nearly half a century. The empty lawn at the end of Halloween(1978) was also creepy without being annoying.
No genre takes more guff for being trash (well except for porno) than horror—and in some cases horror takes guff for being porno-but that’s a different rant—the last thing horror writers need to do is be formulaic, unoriginal, and make our beloved genre look cheap. Let’s trying thinking a little bit before we pen that last story board. Please!
Let The Right One In Remake Production Begins, My Stomach Turns
Filming started in New Mexico this week for Let Me In, Matt Reeves’ remake of one of my favorite films of the past decade, Let The Right One In. I’m assuming most of you have seen the original but if you haven’t, stop reading this and go watch it (with the correct subtitles only, please). I’ve been dreading this remake since I first heard about it over a year ago, but now it’s back to the forefront and I have to rant a little.
First of all, New Mexico? The original novel (which is equally as fantastic) and film were set and in Blackeberg, Sweden, an industrial suburb of Stockholm where snow and gray skies visually enhance the narrative’s bleak, sinister, and mysterious characters. Initially, I heard that Let Me In was going to be set in Colorado, which would at least provide some continuity. I love New Mexico and I think it’s a beautiful place but this location change marks, to me, the first in a series of likely departures from John Ajvide Lindqvist’s original story.
According to a Bloody-Disgusting article, “The filmmakers note that while the new film will pay respect to the original Swedish version, they intend to forge a unique identity for Let Me In, placing it firmly in an American context.”
Why does everything have to be Americanized in order for us to enjoy it? I understand that familiar settings, cultural archetypes, and references inherently garner audience engagement but are the masses so xenophobic that they can’t identify with characters from Blackeberg? The original narrative’s themes are actually quite universal. To me, Let The Right One In is largely about loneliness and then lengths that people will go to to find love and acceptance. I don’t think it requires remake to convey those ideas. Will audiences really feel more of an emotional connection if Oskar (or whatever his name is in this one) is visiting Target to buy a parka instead of a Swedish shop? Are we really that narrow-minded? Let The Right One In has its own uniquely strong identity that doesn’t need to be done over.
I’m not sure that I made any sense here and you could argue that my ranting is futile, that we’ll never stop these pointless remakes. But hey, it makes me feel better, OK?
Paranormal Activity Actors Diplomatic Despite Lack Of Pay?
During a brief interview today on The Opie & Anthony Show, Paranormal Activity stars Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat indicated (not maliciously) that they might not be getting paid all that much despite the film’s $63 million box office success. After the hosts joked that Stephen Spielberg and Paramount (who reportedly purchased the film for $300,000) are probably raking in all of the profits, Sloat replied, “We’re not getting hung out in the cold… [but] you guys are pretty on track.”
We're in a $63 million movie - will work for food
While it’s not surprising that these no-name actors aren’t receiving their “fair share” of the profits, it’s still somewhat infuriating. Clearly I’m being idealistic, but I’d like to believe that somewhere in that $63 million, there is at least $5 million or so for each of the main characters. Would that be too much to ask? Naturally, the film’s success will open up many doors for both of the actors but that still means they have to fight and uphill battle to make a name for themselves after the hype dies down.
Plans for Paranormal Activity 2 are reportedly underway already but given the ending of the first film, it seems unlikely that the sequel will star Featherston or Sloat. During the interview, the actors confirmed that they either know nothing about the sequel or have no planned part in it thus far. That said, the two actors remained very diplomatic about the situation when pressed and seemed to have a good sense of humor about it all. Still, it seems like the studios win again, the rich get richer, and they will likely produce an unneeded sequel to a great film. Do I sound like enough of a curmudgeon now?
Where The Wild Things Are Was Great. People? Not So Much.
Posted by Matt in Movies, New Releases, Rants on October 24th, 2009
Been a busy week with the job and all, thus I haven’t had time to post anything. I did, however, get a chance to watch Where The Wild Things Are last night and just have to say that it’s fantastic. Though definitely more of a “what it’s like to be a kid movie” rather than a “kid’s movie”, Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers have produced an emotion-wrenching gem that’s bound to leave kids (and idiots who take everything literally) underwhelmed. I’m not going to do a full review of this film here but rather, I’m going to rant briefly about my recent theater experiences.
[Begin rant] When was the last time you went to see a movie and were actually able to sit and appreciate a piece of art with respectful, like-minded people? I can’t remember. The last few times I’ve gone to see a movie, I have been surrounded by morons. You know, every moviegoer’s nightmare – the women who feel the need to provide commentary on the character’s actions (“Don’t go in there, girl” – “He’s so bad”), the guys who shout out witty remarks trying to get laughs from the rest of us, and worst yet, the people who just don’t get what is going on or miss the point of the film.
Now, if you would kindly just SHUT UP
Last night, I was dealing with the most infuriating mixture of the above stereotypes, embodied by a group of women sitting directly behind me. Not only did they fail to understand that Where The Wild Things Are‘s narrative is not meant to be taken literally , they interpreted some of the more poignant moments comedically, laughing and repeating lines incessantly. No matter how many sideways glances I threw back at them, they persisted and certainly stole some of the film’s magic from me. I left the theater legitimately angry.
A couple weeks ago, I had a similar experience viewing Paranormal Activity. I actually have come to hate seeing horror in movie theaters, I think – especially hyped films like this. The theater was jam-packed and of course, directly behind me was a woman who narrated the film for us. If that wasn’t enough, she had brough her 5-year-old to see what was said to be one of the scariest films in decades. And she wasn’t the only one – there were at least six other children under the age of 10 in the theater. What the fuck are people thinking?!
Maybe I’m being too critical of the general U.S. population, but is it too much to ask that your fellow moviegoers be respectful and actually watch the film we’ve paid to see? These past few experiences have really made me question the intelligence of most people (of course none of you, my favorite readers). Maybe I need to start seeing empty matinee showings…
[End rant]
-
You are currently browsing the archives for the Rants category.
Contact Us
Movie Queue
Awards Mean We’re Famous, Right?
Vote For Us!
