Archive for category New Releases

Remakville Takes Another Chop at Texas Chainsaw

If there’s one Horror movie Saga I wish had stopped at one installment. (besides SAW that is) it would have to be Tobe Hooper’s Classic  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). Now, I know we all love Bill Mosley at his best as “Chop Top Sawyer” and how can you lose with Dennis Hopper as a deranged… Well really just Dennis Hopper being himself.  However, I would trade all of those ‘classic’ performances just to keep the original a stand alone bit of grainy brilliance, the perfect blend of absurdist theater and gore.

Even watching the original today, Hooper’s choice of low tech equipment still makes Leather Face untimely terrifying when his hulking figure bursts into the frame and horrifying when his face eclipses the flashlight beam in the wheelchair scene. It shouldn’t be lost that Texas Chainsaw 74 came on the scene one year after the Exorcist and had big shoes to fill to up the terror bar, and somehow it succeeded in earning that place in horror history. Maybe, its the fact that it was semi-inspired by Ed Gein real life affinity for mutilating women into accessories so it toted that ‘based on ‘a true story realism’ before that type of thing became a sickeningly over played fad.

Whatever the reality was, viewers of Chainsaw 74‘, when they were first “dragged to dinner,” bound and gagged, they felt like the journey that led them to face the 40 whacks from grandpa was somehow believable in the way we all believe nightmares when we sleep, no matter how absurd they are, because Chainsaw 74′s horror was real enough and  to convince us we weren’t dreaming. Unfortunately, the first three sequels that followed decided to FOCUS on the absurd, and forgot about the horror that wears down our willingness to challenge the absurdity of the unfolding nightmare.

On the other hand, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) made Samuel Beckett look like a realist as it redefined the parameters of ridiculousness at every turn with Dennis Hopper’s tap dancing chainsaw duels. Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)  tried to hang its hat on the same ol’ meathook by attempting to re-hash a climax with painfully similar  bound girl at the dinner table routine –But at least we got Ken Foree basically reprising his Dawn of the Dead (1978) role. As for ‘Leatherface’s’ successor, that piece of crap with Renée Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey known as Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994), well I couldn’t cover in a book let alone a blog how far removed that thing was from the 74′ classic.

Ten years later, the first rounds of remakes rolled in with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) and while I thought maybe R. Lee Ermey could save the Jessica Biel train-wreck with his dead pan drill sergeant delivery the sad reality was that his role was understated by the film’s unoriginal modernization which was as mundane as any other American horror film to be released that year. While the capture of Biel’s ‘Last Girl’ characters by Ermey, Leatherface, and Co. wisely skirted the usual bondage at the dinner table with a mere ‘wink’ comment by Ermey about her staying for dinner or something of the like, the film was only horrific in its inability to add anything but more overused conventions to a no longer scary character. If it succeeded at anything it at very least toned down the Looney Toons nature left behind by McConaughey scrambling to find the proper remote to control his robot leg. (Boy I wish I was kidding)

While I can’t comment on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), as I checked out before that, the fact remains that its been ten years and OF COURSE since we haven’t had a 3D entry we definitely need another Texas Chainsaw Reboot, but I ask what’s the point? There’s no way to return to that grainy footage, that massacre in the wheel chair, the girl dragged off the porch to be hung like meat on a hook, or that first appearance… that red background adorned with cattle skulls, this hulking figure stepping in front of it without any sound spike beyond a distant pig squeal and then the clunk of the hammer and the blood choking seizure that followed. Perfect grainy brutality.

If Leatherface took his final bow as that blood soaked girl, alive, but half out of her mind, cruised away in the rusty flat bed of a  pickup truck while he danced away the night with his chainsaw. We would all remember Texas Chainsaw more fondly than we do now or more importantly then we will, most likely, next week.

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Short Film Released From Trick ‘R Treat Director

Yeah, I know we haven’t done anything on this site forever.  We’ve been busy/lazy, blah blah blah blah.  Well here’s something that I can post that requires almost no effort on my part, so I can continue on my with my blatant disregard for our 6 readers.

Director Michael Dougherty, the man behind 2007′s Trick ‘R Treat, has released a quick two-minute video for FearNet that briefly features Sam, the evil doll/ghoul from the film.  It rides the line between adorable and morbid quite well and definitely makes me want to watch Trick ‘R Treat again.  If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out (along with this new clip).  It’s something to hold you over until Trick ‘R Treat 2, which is still in the works.

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Dead Time Stories Vol.1

Well, Romero’s latest project, Dead Time Stories Vol. 1 has recently hit the VOD market, and it doesn’t exactly have me dying for Vol.2. For the most part, Romero has has left the direction up to Savini, et al, but his MO kind wafts from each vignette, and perhaps its just the segmented short films format that reminds me of Creepshow, however parallels to Romeros other fiction keep surfacing like old zombie hands.

The initial “Really?”-moment that has the piece off and running like a three legged horse is Romero establishing himself as the Crypt Keeper-esque narrator, which ends up turning out like someone’s pedophile Uncle Chester trying to act like a friendly harmless adult. While most fans that know Romero will realize that George is just being George and isn’t really trying to act it’s still too hokey to watch. The segments themselves have an interesting off-beat style, but most of the stories and characters are pretty forgettable. While I don’t think I’ll ever forget Steven King’s portrayal of  the newly “fertile” hick named Jordy Verill, the cockroach plagued Entomophobic Upson Pratt, or Adrian Barbeau’s Shrewish “Billy” I couldn’t name a single character in any of the “Deadtime” stories I just watched yesterday.

With that said, the three segments do all have some redeeming quality. The opener is about a determined woman trying to discover the fate of her husband in a jungle with hostile natives, which has an interesting twist on the fate of the narrator, but is peppered with too much cartoonish gore. Its follow-up has the creepiest portrayal of a mermaid since Daryl Hanna got cosmetic surgery, however the tone is a little too reminiscent of  Creepshow’s “Something to Tide You Over” vignette. Then again, how many ways can vengeance from the sea be pulled off? The final piece is a vampire tale directed by Savini that reminded me of Romero’s old vampire tale Martin, but maintained its own unique dark direction and utilized it setting, a turn of the century peasantry naivety, to execute its narrative seamlessly.

Perhaps I’m doing Deadtime Stories Volume 1 an injustice by comparing it to Creepshow, which paired King and Romero both in the prime of their careers, but on its own merit it does have seem to be missing something. Still, the tales are enjoyable for what they are if you’re in the mood for this format. Or if you need a good laugh a you can just watch the transition segments when Romero does his best work as the over the top narrator. Either way, it’s not a terrible watch. Let’s call it a B- and hope for Vol 2 to wow us.

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Paranormal Activity 3 (Or, Ways To Further Annoy My Coauthor)

I was just playing internet catch up after 8 days of vacation and I stumbled upon the trailer for Paranormal Activity 3 which is set to be released in October.  Though my esteemed coauthor (along with millions of others) has not enjoyed these films thus far, I’m on the other side of the fence having thought the first was brilliantly executed and genuinely frightening.  The second film was less enjoyable as it repeated many of the same scares from its predecessor but I still enjoyed it.

Aside from those who don’t at all enjoy found-footage horror, I think most opinions about the Paranormal Activity films are largely influenced by the theater experience you have while watching them.  Mainly, the number of rude assholes in the theater with you using their cell phones, talking, or otherwise destroying the tense atmosphere of these movies.  During my viewing of Paranormal Activity 2, I had one woman behind me that couldn’t stop saying “awww shit, son!”  Over my other shoulder were four teens chatting incessantly.  So, it makes sense that I didn’t enjoy it as much as the first one.

All this aside, the trailer for the latest entry in the series indicates that it’s partly a prequel explaining how Katie and her family came to be haunted by the demon.  It utilizes old family footage shot by her father to show that strange things were happening all the way back in 1988.  I can’t help it – I want to see it already.  Even just the trailer makes me tense in a way that the vast majority of horror movies can’t come close to.  Perhaps it’s my mind wanting to relive the fear I experience from the first film, but I’m all in for this one too.  Maybe this time I’ll catch a showing early in the day to minimize the asshole to human ratio.  Check out the trailer and tell me that the mirror image isn’t creepy….come on.

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Insidious Review

Horror is a genre that I love passionately and despise fervently on a daily basis. What I hate the most about this industry, at least this week, is when another plastic and unimaginative horror film comes out and they load the TV spots up with all these comparative statements to brilliant, 70’s era, genre-creating titles. “Scariest Film since the Exorcist. Most Terrifying since Poltergeist”. These quotes, of course, refer to Insidious, which just reared its ugly head onto the home market last Tuesday.

Why do I hate it, you may ask? One, it isn’t even as scary as the sum of all of Exorcist and Poltergeist’s bad sequels let alone the originals. While the films has some creepy images and a few good jump moments, the sad fact remains that the trailer showcased every single one of them. The rest of the film is tonally awkward, badly paced, and outright goofy in a way that borders on SyFy original quality.

Insidious’s attempt at originality functions on a two act play style. Act one follows the Lamberts, Josh and Rene, a thirty-something couple that have just moved their family into a new home, and all is well until their oldest son, Dalton, falls into an unexplainable comma. With doctors baffled, Dalton returns home to visiting nurse care, and the family finds itself in a typical format of a haunted house flick: stuff moves around, bloody hand prints appear, and a ghostly figure that looks like some loser that used to be a roadie for King Diamond materializes to cause havoc.

Rene convinces Josh to move, and guess what, the same stuff starts happening in the new house. So, they decide to call in some help to figure out why and help comes in the form of two stereotypically humorous ghost hunters who use modified children’s View Masters to stumble upon one of the film’s only creepy scenes, two undead girls that appear in Overlook Hotel fashion, but with unnerving Cheshire Cat smiles. Don’t worry if you blinked and missed it, because director James Wan will try to pull this stunt about a dozen more times before the movie is out, until it so redundantly unscary that I wanted to cry.

Reload Elise! Top Left! Watch out for that Scary Eyeball. Wait Wrong Image

Anyway, after that bit, the ghost hunters call in their boss, Elise, who is some kind of psychic and decides to have a séance while wearing a gas mask. While, apparently, this is based in fact for people with ESP to heighten their skills through sensory deprivation, the real reason, which Wan told Fangoria, was just because he wanted to have a different feel to the overused séance scene. Well, different he got. I can’t dispute that, but it also looks goofier than ID-Software’s Rise of the Triad video game in 94’ when they did Gas Mask View. Everyone that’s put off by this scene better crawl into their own gasmasks because its only going to stink worse from here as Insidious takes a turn for the Looney Toons style.

After chaos at the séance ensues, and I’m surprised Taz doesn’t spin out of the table, the group finally comes up with a plan. In short, there’s a bunch of half-assed repressed backstory about Josh’s past, but all you need to know is that he could Astral-project his soul as a child and now his kid Dalton took up the hobby and got stuck in a place called “The Further.” While Elsie’s explanation is too lengthy to even paraphrase here, just think of that episode of the Twilight Zone where that little girl falls through a dimensional hole in the wall and the dog has to get her, except add a house, and a bunch of those Cheshire Cat smiling ghost and poof you’re there.

The reason for all of this is that Dalton’s travels have left his living body as an empty vessel, prime real estate for every ghost, dead King Diamond roadie, and demon that looks like an anorexic Raiders fan in a five dimension radius. So, Josh has to astral-project once again to find his son in that creepy of all worlds, “The Further.”

So he wades through a bunch of fog machine puffs, retro 50’s families doing that creepy Cheshire Cat smile, yet again, and has to fight the King Diamond roadie who he takes out with Lord Raiden’s across-the-screen, face-first dive move. (Yes, it looks that bad). Finally, he finds his son chained up in the demon’s liar. What is the demon doing you may ask? Why he’s sharping his claws while listening to Tiny Tim’s “Tip-Toe Through the Tulips.” Immediately after, the demon presses his sharpened-claw-silhouette against the stain glass window that separates them and there’s a sound spike. Really, this scene is supposed to be tense. I’m sorry but there’s no more being afraid of this guy. (Finally, I understand Why Paranormal Activity didn’t show their demons, because demons do goofy unscary stuff like listen to Tiny Tim with their down time).

With all the tension being flushed down the toilet, the father and son try to escape “The Further,” and Wan tries revive tension with some sort Night of the Living Dead all-ghosts-storm-“realworld”-house-scene, which makes no bloody sense because up until now the ghost could pass through walls but now barricading doors seems to work. The demon chases the kid with a bunch of bad clichés: hand from under the bed and a fast wall crawl, but we don’t care cause he’s about as scary as one of the monsters on Sesame Street by this point, and at last the climax comes to end.

Insidious, of course, has to use the formulaic last scare, the good guys didn’t really win, ending that is so obviously coming that Steve Wonder could see it. Then it’s over. Watch out Linda Blair and Craig T. Nelson because your classics are going to be forgotten and buried, pushing up “Tuilips” even.

Is Insidious as bad as I’m making it? Probably not, no, but don’t buy into the hype that it can even touch The Exorcist in terms of fright. Instead, it’s purposely absurd and relies too heavily on homage with slight twists, and it’s worth repeating that every scene that’s eerie is over done until they’re not, and others are just done poorly like the aforementioned Raiden move.

Insidious could be a lot fun, if you like your horror to be just off-keel enough to be creepy, and as long as you don’t go in expecting it to come near its TV spot’s claims. It’s going to take something very special to rival Regan’s spinning head, and Insidious just ain’t it.

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Odds and Ends

I haven’t made a legitimate contribution to this blog in a solid six weeks mainly because I’ve been busy purchasing my first home which, combined with working every day, is more time consuming and stressful than I could have imagined. [INSERT PUN ABOUT HOME PURCHASING BEING A "HORROR"].  So, rather than a series of fully-developed posts, I’m going to touch on a few things here that I’ve seen/done/been thinking about/etc and hopefully you, Dave Rogers dear readers, will accept this as a post.

First up, I managed to check out Paul, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s take on the sci-fi genre.  I’m a huge fan of Shaun of the Dead, which I’ve seen at least a dozen times, and I’m always excited when Pegg and Frost have a new project in the works.  In case you’re even less up to date than I am, Paul is about Graeme and Clive, two sci-fi/comic book fans from the UK who attend Comic-Con in California and take a road trip in an RV around the Southwest to visit notorious UFO-related locations.  As their trip is barely underway, a car blazes past them on the highway and suddenly crashes into a ditch.  Walking out of the wreck, the two friends find a small alien who promptly lights up a cigarette and begins talking.  Clive immediately pisses himself and passes out while Graeme speaks with the creature.  Though Clive is uneasy, the two agree to give Paul a ride to an unknown destination while the FBI is close behind.

I enjoyed Paul, though not nearly as much as Shaun of the Dead or even Hot Fuzz but I suspect that my opinion will change with subsequent viewings.  Pegg and Frost are masters of paying homage to the genres they choose and I know I missed at least half of the references in Paul because I’m not the best with my sci-fi knowledge.  I was, however, one of the few in the theater to catch a Jaws reference which made me realize I’ve seen that movie more times than anyone probably should.  There were dozens of other references that I’m sure no one caught.  References aside, I thought Paul was fast-paced and funny throughout with great supporting performances from Bill Hader, Joe Lo Tuglio, Kristin Wiig and Jason Bateman.  I’m definitely looking forward to a second viewing.

Shifting gears, I finally watched The Thing on Blu-ray which I picked up about 6 months ago.  I’ll probably lose horror fan points here, but this was only the second time I had seen the movie.  The first time was about 7 years ago via a mediocre quality DVD rip.  I remembered liking it but not necessarily why I did.  This viewing made those reasons very clear.  Most importantly, it’s scary and suspenseful.  I know that should be a given with horror, but sadly not many contemporary efforts manage to pull it off.  John Carpenter’s film creates a feeling of isolation and uncertainty about who the viewer can trust at any given point.  The lines between protagonist and antagonist shift abruptly throughout.  Even at the film’s bleak, perfect final scene, we still don’t know what’s going to happen and Carpenter doesn’t tell us.

Especially in Blu-ray quality, The Thing is also a showcase of how old-school latex and corn syrup gore special effects trump modern day CGI.  That autopsy scene is particularly nasty as Wilford Brimley (in his pre “Diabeetus” days) excises gooey intestines and organs from the victims.  I forgot how much I enjoyed The Thing and I’m glad that I took the time to remember why it’s considered a classic of the genre.  On a sadder note, a The Thing prequel focused on the Norwegian crew that initially discovered the alien is planned to be released this year.  I wonder how that one is going to end…ugh.

Moving on…I’m pretty sure I mentioned this at some point in the past and that it’s old news now but Stephen King has announced a new book in the Dark Tower series called The Wind Through The Keyhole.  The book is set to be released in 2012 and will take place following the events of Wizard and Glass, arguably the series’ strongest book.  Or possibly it will take place before the main narrative of Wizard and Glass begins.  King has been contradictory about the book’s premise thus far.  Either way, here’s where I’ll advocate that you should read the entire Dark Tower series if you have no idea what I’m talking about.  Or maybe you shouldn’t.  That’s what brought this topic back into my mind.  I was talking to a friend about the series who said he was into it until the very end (and then he pretended to erase something with an imaginary pencil – you’ll get it if you’ve read the books).  I have always raved about the Dark Tower books but I think I’ve always skipped over the fact that the ending was underwhelming to say the least and King’s insistence on inserting himself as a character was annoying.  Conceptually, I get it – that the worlds of the Dark Tower are all interconnected, which means that we too (and therefore King himself) are included.  I actually like that idea a lot but did he really have to spend a whole book writing himself into it?  I’m ranting now.  I can’t lie though – I’ll purchase the new book on the day it’s released, stay up all night reading it, rave about it, and then in a couple years I’ll look back and cite its flaws like I am now.  I’m so predictable.

Lastly, it looks like we’re going to get Trick ‘R Treat 2 sometime in the near future.  Last week, an ominous “Sam WILL return…” message was posted on the official Facebook and Twitter accounts for the film.  Sam, if you haven’t seen the first film, is the demonic child/thing from the most popular story segment.  I think a lot of horror fans are excited to hear this news, even if it’s not confirmed yet.  The first Trick ‘R Treat was a collection of four horror stories ala Creepshow but rather than being standalone pieces, all of the stories intertwined in subtle ways.  Better than any other films that have tried, it managed to really capture the essence of a creepy Halloween night.  Watching it, you can almost smell the brisk Fall air and hear the rustling of dead leaves.  Hopefully the film studios will have learned from their mistakes and will give Trick ‘R Treat 2 a proper theatrical release instead of bailing at the last minute.

So, there it is.  A real post.  Finally.  Don’t worry, I’ve got more to contribute here and maybe after I get through the horror (I crack myself up) of moving, I’ll get back to my regular half-assed posting schedule.

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My First Red Carpet Premier

As usual, I’ve been lazy and I’m finally getting around to writing about something cool I got to do last month – attend my first red carpet movie premier in New York City.  You know the scene – me surrounded by dozens of A-list celebrities and beautiful women, the bright flashes of light as paparazzi snap photos to be used in tabloids around the world.  Ok, now the truth.  The carpet was probably brown, the celebrities were D-list, and the only flashes I saw originated from my Blackberry.  I was attending the advanced premier of SyFy Channel’s Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid starring 80′s pop icons Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.

Thanks to a friend with a connection at SyFy, I had VIP status at this event held at the Ziegfeld Theater, which basically meant I got to sit in decent seats within a few feet of the stars.  I’d be lying and trying to act cool if I said I wasn’t excited.  I’ve seen my share of SyFy Channel Originals and I knew what to expect – 90 minutes of ridiculous dialogue, over the top action, and terrible CGI.  That’s exactly what I got and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid begins when a dedicated animal rights activist/doctor Nikki Riley (Debbie Gibson), steals exotic snakes from laboratories and sets them free in the Everglades.  For some reason that goes unexplained, the snakes grow to massive size (illustrated in spectacularly poor CGI) and begin to eat up the local gator population.  This doesn’t sit well with Park Ranger Terry O’Hara (Tiffany) who fears that the invasive species will decimate the gators so she issues snake hunting permits to the local rednecks.  Predictably, these giant snakes make quick work of the hunters and Terry’s husband.  Determined to get revenge on Nikki, Terry injects a bunch of dead chickens with a type of steroid that increases both muscle growth and aggression.  The gators eat the chickens and there you have it – Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid.  An all out battle ensues between the two species with the local human population serving as collateral damage.  The rest of the film finds the two characters trying to control the damage they have caused, with intentional ridiculousness as only SyFy can pull off.

Anyone trying to review this film in a serious fashion obviously doesn’t get the point.  Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid is self-aware to the point of hyperbole, featuring more winks at the camera than I could count, dialogue references to Gibson and Tiffany songs, and a scantily clad cat fight between the two main stars.  There’s no point in taking this seriously and people who understand the genre know that.  The whole theater roared with applause as the credits rolled.

Following the screening, us VIP’s were invited to attend an after party at a nearby hotel where an entire basement lounge was set up as an 80′s dance/karaoke party offering a lovely open bar stocked with premium booze.  Emceed by Doug E. Fresh, the floor quickly filled up with SyFy lovers dancing to previously forgotten 80′s hits.  I, however, was preoccupied observing the previously famous people who stopped by and creepily trying to get photos with them.

Me & Dustin Diamond - only looking moderately creepy

Over the course of the evening, I had the privilege of meeting Dustin Diamond, Screech of Saved By The Bell fame, as well as Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.  The highlight for me though was Alan Thicke who I grew up watching on Growing Pains.  Mr. Thicke was clearly the hit of the evening and he received plenty of attention from the ladies in attendance along with creeps like me wanting a photo.  I managed to snag photos of all the celebrities and with the Johnnie Walker Black flowing freely, I even made an appearance on the dance floor (thank God there’s no video footage of that) as Tiffany sang her rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing.”  I’m looking forward to Gigantic Gerbil Vs. Mondo Walrus or whatever SyFy comes up with next.

The best photo of the night

Me & the two stars - full on creep with Debbie

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Scream 4 Trailer

The Scream 4 trailer hit the internet this week.  I’m only a little ashamed to say that I’ve been anticipating this sequel with guarded curiosity since I caught wind that it was being made.  To me, the original Scream is a landmark in my evolution as a horror fan.  I went to go see it with my dad and a friend when I was 14 and the opening scene scared me so much that I had to leave the theater.  Yes, I was still in my “scared little bitch” phase with regard to horror.  Everything scared me back then and when Drew Barrymore was shown hanging from the tree, I lost it.  I didn’t finish watching the movie that day.  I’m sure my dad was happy to have wasted $30 for 5 minutes of viewing time.

Nevertheless, this incident marked a turning point.  I was embarrassed to have left the theater in front of my friend and I knew I had to man up.  After it was released on VHS (yes, I’m that old) I rented it and completed a viewing.  Shortly thereafter, I became obsessed with horror movies and I now catch as many as I can.  So, hopefully you can understand my nostalgic ties to the Scream franchise.

Sure, the first two sequels were nothing spectacular.  They were probably bad.  I haven’t watched them in easily 10 years but part of me still gets excited when I hear that voice making threats in this new trailer.  From what I can tell here, Scream 4 looks to be pretty hammy and self aware, probably to the point where the schtick doesn’t work anymore.  Seems like they’ve even created a new “Randy” character who will lecture us with the 21st century version of “rules to survive a horror movie.” Probably annoying, but I’m still going to see it.  If nothing else, it’ll be interesting to see what twist they come up with this time, no matter how stupid.

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Horror Round Up… This Week In Horror

Some old news, some new news…just really whatever came across my plate that I felt like talking about this minute, and first up is The Thompsons (2011) has been announced as the follow up to the first’s HorrorFest’s The Hamiliton’s (2006). Anyone who caught the original mess of bondage, incest, suburban vampires, and plot holes, but a somewhat captivating narrative knows that “the family” had moved to a new town and changed their name. What new adventures will those nutty neighborly vamps have? Well I’m going to tell you.

Apparently, the reluctant teenage son from the original, Francis, finds a new girl since things didn’t work out with the red head that was tied up in his basement in the last movie after he ate her – in a bad way. Ironically, oh snap, his new love interest turns out to be a vampire too. How convenient. Unfortunately, her vampire parents are rich and they don’t want their daughter associating with a common vampire. I mean what would Dr. Frankenstein and Count Dracula think when she brings him to the Monster Country Club? Just Scandalous. Sadly, I’m only kidding about the last sentence; this is actually the plot, but I think it has more to do that they don’t want the newly named Thompson hunting on their turf.

My take: the first movie was Looney Toons and some of the actors were terrible, but somehow I found it to be one of the better horror films I’ve seen in a while. Can they make ridiculous enjoyable again? Perhaps or perhaps like most B vampires films, it will just suck.

Bad pun…moving on… transition… and in Somewhat related news, It looks like After Dark Films is hanging up the Horror Fest strategy and moving on to “After Dark Originals.” The After Dark website released the following statement, “After Dark has taken the horror festival concept to a higher level. After Dark Originals showcases eight new cutting edge horror films spanning the genre. The mission is to create high quality horror films that provide After Dark full control from script concept through final editing,” which is apparently better marketing than coming out and saying “yeah the crap we’ve been parading across the country for the past four year has been mostly terrible and we really can’t get any theaters to sign on anymore. Either way, they do have 8 more movies advertised on their site, so please check them out at However, it does not appear the weekend of films hitting the country somewhere between November and January will happen this year.

Next up, in the “God-am-I-sick-o’-remakes-category” comes Deep Red (2011). Arguably, one of Argento’s lesser films, Deep Red (1975) was another one of his Hitchcock-esque thrillers that relied on a bizarre and ghastly punchline, but paled in comparison to his more widely known work. Perhaps, the idea is that he can do it better this time? With that in mind, here comes the kicker.

He won’t be directing his own remake, but early reports is that he wants his old buddy George to take the helm. He and Romero have, of course, rubbed elbows in the past on projects: Dawn 78 received a cut job or butcher job from Argento, their dual takes on Poe in Two Evil Eyes, and of course most fans noticed Asia, Argento’s daughter, in Romero’s final installment of his original Dead series, but can these two horror veterans really remake a mediocre film into something substantial?  Personally, I rather they both give us something new and original. Imagine that, boys.

Finally, in breaking news today, Pope Benedict XVI says its okay to slaughter millions of helpless…..sperm by using condoms. While the statement was filled with a million backdoor loop holes: something about male prostitutes, lesser of two evils, moral responsibility and HIV its still nice to see the church moving away from their medieval sperm slaughter position. I urge all our readers to get their hands on some Trojan stock as sales should go through the roof this week now that we got the pope on board. And if that’s not horrifying… I don’t know what is.               

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Midnight Son – Indie Vampire Film Trailer

I don’t need to tell you that the vampire genre is oversaturated these days, which makes any new entry into it come under immediate skepticism.  Combine that with the inherent skepticism of indie horror releases and you’re looking at a double platter of doubt.  So, I was pleasantly surprised by the trailer for Midnight Son, an upcoming indie vampire flick that filmmaker Matt Compton describes as “a gritty, realistic new look at the vampire genre.”  Based on the trailer, the film appears to be about a security guard who is coming to grips that he’s a vampire – drinking disposed blood from a hospital and growing more desperate over time.  Seems dark and gritty enough for a viewing.  No release date has been set yet but check out the trailer for now and visit the Midnight Son site at

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