Archive for category Another Bad Rob Zombie Film

Rob Zombie Talks About New Movie: Lords of Salem

Here we go again. Zombie is ready to plop himself in the stretched hemp of another director’s chair, and who’s anxious to get their hands dirty with this film? Well, who else but Haunted Films‘ Steven Schneider, Jason Blum, and Oren Peli; the crack-team of geniuses that gave us Paranormal Activity.  Excellent! How does that old saying go? “Two wrongs can’t make a right, but two Wrights can make an airplane.” (That’s probably not it.) Anyway, things could be worse.

Zombie was originally scheduled to churn out the third version of The Blob, which after the Halloween parade of…. Well, whatever that duo of movies was supposed to be. Good, bad, or just out-to-lunch-bizarre, I’d rather not see another remake of anything, especially in a horror genre that has at least two sets of just about everything. At least Zombie agrees. In a recent interview he stated, “I wanted to break away from anything related to preexisting material,” he said. “The remake train is getting pretty tired now and when I made Halloween, everybody complained, either that it was too much like the original or too different. I like that people either love or hate what I do because it’s better than being in the middle, which means forgettable. But when you do an original premise, they take it on face value and after three years of not being able to win on Halloween, I just couldn’t go through that again.”

Zombie’s frank remarks are very comforting and it pleases us to know that he “likes” the fact we “hate” his work here at No Room In Hell, but I respect his decision to return to writing a script with an original concept. Sooner or later, Zombie is bound to get it right, and I do not think that can be achieved by rehashing someone else’s work for the second or third time. Instead, Zombie has written a script about a modern day Salem being revisited by a three-hundred year old coven of demonic witches or something of the like. Even though it already sounds like yawnsville at least let’s give the man his fair shake and wait to see how it looks after it starts to shoot sometime next year.

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Discovering “Spider Baby” and Sorting out Zombie’s Mess

Every now and and again, I remember how much I respected Rob Zombie in high school (when he made music and not films) and start to feel bad about how much guff he takes from us on this site. Recently, I also learned that the White Zombie song “Spider Baby: Yeah Yeah Yeah” received its name from  a 1968 cult film Spider Baby: The Maddest Story Ever Told, and this movie also served as inspiration for the heavily criticized House of 1000 Corpses. My curiosity was piqued as if I was given a chance to time travel, and while it wouldn’t be like going back to Germany in 1930s with a sniper rifle  I still felt I would get to witness how evil was born.

It didn’t take long for my gratification to come. Within five minutes of turning on Spider Baby, I was introduced to the Merrye Family Home through the eyes of an unfortunate delivery man. Writer/ Director Jack Hill takes “the black guy dies first” to an extreme as his nameless messenger sticks his head through a window and the frame crashes down on his neck pinning his head inside and leaving his body hanging outside on the old rotted porch.

Enter Virginia, an early twenty something, with a child like demeanor, who refers to her newest victim as “a bug” and tosses a net over his face so she can play her favorite game “spider” where old butcher knives become arachnid teeth to “sting” her victim with. The camera cuts to the floor where a severed ear lands and then outside where the delivery man’s kicking legs fall limp. A moment later, her blond sister Elizabeth skips into the room with her hands on hips proclaiming how Bruno is going to hate her when he sees what Virginia has done.

The few seconds that the girls spend on screen during this first game of Spider speaks volumes to the childlike and usually annoying direction of Sheri Moon Zombie in her role of “Baby”. Moon’s murderous but happy-go-lucky attitude mirrors the behavior of the Merrye girls throughout this film. So, whose this Bruno guy in question?

Bruno is the Merrye family’s chauffeur turned patriarch and played fittingly by Lon Chaney Jr who is watching over the family for reasons unknown. He returns to discover the carnage of the messenger and finds the letter he is carrying. Turns out, cousins of the family have hired a lawyer after realizing that no adult member of  the family is left to control the family’s fortune, and that they will be arriving today to negotiate who will acquire the estate and its wealth. Bruno explains to the girls that they have a mess to clean up and many secrets to keep.

Shortly before, the preparing for the “normies” to descend on the crazy house, Bruno tells the girls to go get Ralph out of the car. The girls call out as if they are heeling a dog, but instead a late twenties clean shaven Sid Haig crawls  out of the backseat, and another piece of Zombie puzzles falls on the plate. Although Haig bears little resemblance to the clown makeup wearing patriarch of the Firefly family, and instead of a wise cracking villainous Captain Splauding, Ralph doesn’t have a single line other than a hiss towards one of his female cousin.

The arrival of the cousins and their lawyer doesn’t do much to conceal which ones are going to have come-upings dished out by the family. Emily and her lawyer Schlocker talk only about money and the awful state about everything from the moment they get on screen. Schlocker, himself, is about as subtle as a villian from a Laurel and Hardy episode with his ever present cigar, store-bought accent, and Hitler mustache. On the other side of the spectrum is Schlocker’s polite paralegal Ann and Emily’s cousin Peter that treats everyone with respect and says that he likes spiders when asked by Virginia. It’s real tough to decide who to put the toe tags on isn’t it.

Once they settle in to the house, Bruno explains that years of inbreeding has caused this rare “Merrye syndrome” where around the teenage years the mind starts to age backwards until it reaches a pre-birth state where physical alteration, aggression, and death start to occur. While Ralph remains the oldest example of the syndrome, Shockler asks where the locations of a missing aunt and uncle, but Bruno avoids the question.

The awkward exchanges between the nervous Bruno and persistent Emily and Scholocker continues into one of horror’s great dinner scenes of which has been copied by both Texas Chainsaw, Zombie, and several others. Through the course of insanely disgusting dishes and quirky dialogue, some of which winks at Lon Chaney’s past as Ann and Peter talk old horror movies, the greedy Emily and Scholocker decide they need to keep an eye on the place by spending the night, but Bruno does manage to convince Ann and Peter to find a hotel elsewhere.

With the “good ones” gone, the girls decide that the bad ones need to die. Scholocker decides to snoop around for his answers while Emily deems it necessary to try on some of her deceased cousin’s lingerie and dance around in her thigh highs unaware that Ralph is watching the entire incident from the roof outside her window. Scholocker, of course, meets his fate inside, but Emily after catching Ralph watching her is able to escape outside, which leads to a chase scene similar to Zombie’s non-nonsensical Run-rabbit-run game that Moon plays with her victims.

While all this is going on, “the good” couple has decided they should go on a date and spend too much time drinking at a bar and all the hotels fill up so they are forced to return to the mansion. Bruno, in the mean time, has went off to fetch something necessary for his final plan for the family, and the young couple returns to the-house-of-a-few-corpses run by the psycho children. Emily convinces Anne to come upstairs where Ralph is waiting to restraint her and drag her off to the basement and Virginia convinces Peter into an ill-advised game of spider.

The climax leads everyone into the basement where the children are holding Anne and Virginia has convinced them they should saw off her foot to drain some fluid to keep her quiet like a spider does to an insect. Bruno is about unleash his final plan for the family and Peter is trying to escape from the “web” Virginia tied him up in to save his new love interest.  Presumed dead, Emily also returns to revenge on Ralph for what we must assume was rape , and when things can’t get anymore Looney Toons, the long talked about aunt and uncle spring from the floor boards to show us what the final stage of the Merrye Syndrome looks like.

While the resolution, like the movie, is both quirky and predictable the film has great atmosphere, and probably at the time was “the maddest story ever told,” which makes me wonder if Zombie thought he could tell a madder one. Where zombie fails and this lost classic succeeds is that despite the corniness of Spider Baby every character has a clear back story, obvious motivations that all fit into a flowing narrative, and the secrets/images beneath the house actually make a lick of sense. It’s obvious that Zombie wanted to capture the atmosphere of the Merrye house, put it on steroids, add twenty seven other main characters and creatures then add a dash of Texas Chainsaw and probably some other things he pilfered from other movies through out the years in a attempt to homage, rebuild the classic horror film.

This was admirable idea, but executed poorly, which he seemed to realize or he wouldn’t have a SWAT team cleanse his bad writing in the first five minutes of his second film. There’s a fine line between inspiration, homage, and rip-off, and I’m not sure Zombie did any one of the three with much technique, but at least I think I am beginning to understand what he thought he could accomplish. Still, every fan of horror should see Spider Baby whether they want to watch through the eyes of Zombie’s inspiration or as a stand alone film. It truly is a lost horror classic.

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A Decade Of Horror – A Retrospective

YIRThe past ten years of horror movies have been a mixed bag of re-done, over-done, and just plain horrible. While the last decade was dominated by slasher flicks, teen horror, and zombie stayed buried, this decade was mostly dominated by new puzzles of flesh and film, a handful of redos/imports, and the return of zombies; this time with running shoes. Let’s take a painfully closer look at the defining moments of the years 2000 through 2009.

While it was ironic that both decades ended with a low budget hype factory, The Blair Witch Project (1999) and Paranormal Activity (2009), the similarities ended there. The year 2000 saw some over flow of teen horror as the Scream and Urban Legend franchises’ final chapters hit us, but aside from the Final Destination franchise, the teen horror genre didn’t seem to have the same dominance as it did in the 90’s. Instead, the 2000’s dragged in a bloody sack of imported Asian horror, torture horror, remade horror, a new brand of zombies, and, of course, our patron saint of mockery here at No Room in Hell, Rob Zombie.

The Asian Horror Invasion

I’ve related my experience with the movie The Ring (2002) before. People were on the floor almost sobbing as if Samara crawled from the screen itself when she did her deformed animal shuffle out of that TV. The scene was endlessly creepy with a fresh new feel, and unfortunately a slew of Asian horror followed her through that TV set but none of them (including The Ring’s sequel) had the power like The Ring did to make audiences believe that those rotted hands were about to emerge from your popcorn bag.

the-grudge

Haven't I seen you before?

Most offensive about this movement was that each film’s monster was almost identical. I can imagine the police lineup. “Okay ma’am which one of these undead kids with black hair and discolored skin crawled through your TV and killed your husband?” Line up the creatures from  The Ring, The Grudge (2004) Dark Water (2005), and Shutter (2008) and I’ll be damned if I could tell’em apart.

With each successive Asian horror remake to hit the U.S., the initial creepy vibe that The Ring introduced rapidly diminished.

The Asian horror invasion didn’t stop with dark hared children either. Pulse (2006) and The Eye (2008) also thought they’d be better with English and an American budget. The real question is what scares Americans more: Asian horror or subtitles?

Torture Horror

Well, I blame Saw (2004) for this genre. Granted, Saw could be its own movement considering it produced six movies in this decade, but that’s another blog post. Still, something about its formula was different, new and exciting. Years of slasher horror’s guillotine blade racing down and giving audiences a three second payoff of a face molded in death had made us desensitized, bored. Saw showed audiences that victims could suffer in cruel and unusual ways for minutes or even the whole film. While I applaud the first Saw for being different, the franchise has gone out of control and down the path of self parody since. Worse yet, it opened the doors for films like Hostel (2005), Wolf Creek (2005), and Turistas (2006).

saw3-tobin-as-jigsaw_1173913328In a genre that is constantly insulted for being formulaic, we don’t need torture horror. Slasher films took twenty years for the formula to get used up and old. Torture horror took until the closing credits of Hostel. I am not ready to jump on the “It’s just torture porn” bandwagon, but I warn developers of these type of films that this genre has very few places to go unless we have a real interesting premise like in Martyrs (2008).  I hate to paint it with the torture horror brush, but is the closest example of a movie with torture horror elements that transcended them with artistic brilliance.

My final words on this genre are “boycott Saw” and force the filmmakers to stop making them before they hurt themselves and the genre. And an open letter to Mr. Eli Roth: stick to making Thanksgiving. No Hostel III, please!

Domestic Remakes

man_eating_moneyIt’s bad enough that we imported half of Asia’s horror movies, our lack of originality has American horror producers also re-re-ing their own to get a new product on the screen. Before 2010 is out, almost every slasher icon from my childhood will have two versions. In the past ten years: Jason, Michael, Freddy, Leatherface and those good ol’ freaks from The Hills Have Eyes (1977) have all been copied and modernized. Why?

Money, of course.  Sure, our country is founded on capitalism but is it so wrong to hold on to a smidge of idealism?  You know, the idea that we could just leave a great movie untouched solely based on artistic appreciation.  Insanity, I know.

I’ll bet that right now, someone somewhere is probably trying to get their hands on Leprechaun (1993). “Come on there’s been seventeen years worth of advances in CGI. It’s time for more fun with the most disgruntled leprechaun on screen since those damn kids tried to steal Lucky’s cereal.”

Rob Zombie Crawls Out Of The Mud

Okay, I know we spend a lot of time on this site being harsh to Rob Zombie, but I feel it’s honestly with the love of a disappointed parent. His awesome music populated the background of my high school years and we all marveled at his talent when we found out he had hands in creating the peyote dream from Beavis and Butthead Do America (1996). Obviously a talented artist, Zombie making a film made sense, and since teen horror was ruling the day when he announced his project, horror fans waited for Rob to arrive with it like Moses coming back down from Sinai.

HalloweenInstead of a leader to bring us into a new age of horror, we got an inexperienced filmmaker unloading a poorly edited mess of tied up cheerleaders, people in bunny costumes, strange misplaced monsters, dream sequences, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenarios. Was it supposed to be a joke? Was it supposed to be scary? I would just like to ask him in the most serious way possible what he was trying to do.

The house was not only packed with too many corpses, but too many characters, too many clichés, too much fluff in general. The best way I can put it is the parts that were original made no sense or were tonally awkward, and everything else was very unoriginal. Part of me thinks it was supposed to be some kind of homage, but to this day I’m not sure.

The Devil’s Rejects illustrated a little bit of a learning curve on Zombie’s part. The film’s opening sequence wastes most of his irrelevant characters and plot elements with Swat team gunfire, and to his credit, everything that remains resembles a tighter narrative structure and manageable character development. Wisely, Zombie even throws in Ken Foree, portraying a pimp – the film’s best character – for good measure. Even though this piece resembles a film, at least, and had some redeeming value, I still think it illustrated that Zombie had a bit to learn about being scary, directing, writing, etc…

Then he moved on to Halloween, which is a move that baffles me. For a guy that loves film and the horror genre to not realize that remakes are what’s wrong with the industry is beyond me. Furthermore, Zombie has barely been able to put together a decent vision of his own, before he started making a mockery of someone else’s.

halloween-2007-01-4The main issue with Zombie’s films thus far is not so much his directing as it is his writing.  Particularly with The Devil’s Rejects and Halloween, Zombie illustrated that he at least has an eye for shot composition and pacing.  Maybe I’m giving him too much credit here because he had cinematographers work on both of these projects too.  What has remained painfully constant is his penchant for mistaking sleazy hick dialogue for disturbing dialogue.  The entire opening sequence of Halloween is unintentionally laugh-out-loud funny because it tries so hard to disturb us by showing poor little Michael and his trashy family.  The dialogue (and miserable acting) is ridiculous and just goes to show that Zombie was using the same shtick found in his previous films.  Granted, with Halloween he’s taken a stab at character development, but the results were just more clichés.

With the next ten years about to start, Rob should focus on his own work (better yet music, but if he absolutely MUST keep making horror films…) and something simple. Maybe a low budget flick with like five characters would be good at least until you get the hang of this film maker thing.

Real Zombies Crawl Out Of The Mud

The 90’s were cruel to the working class Joe of the undead world. No one had heard from Our Father, George Romero, Hallowed be his name, and his holy trinity seem destined to stay that way, just three movies. Then rumors were pushed about that he was being considered to take the helm on the Resident Evil (2002) project. Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead we got Anderson, Milla and an average zombie movie franchise that may not have been great, but it got people interested in Zombies again (and we love Milla).

28-days-laterThen, 28 Days Later blew the walls off the genre. It may not have been living dead , but zombie horror had entered the twenty first century at warp speed and this excellent film kicked the doors wide open for fast zombies and a Dawn of the Dead (2004) remake. Most fans of the original shrugged and said, “Well not as awful as I thought it was going to be,” but more importantly the interest in hordes of zombies was poppin’ again.

The return of the king came the next year with Land of the Dead (2005). Romero got to play with slow zombies and a big budget (for him), and the film itself was a decent entry into his mythos, at very least offering better closure to fans than Day of the Dead (1985). Romero since then has released two indie films in his universe – Diary of the Dead (2007) and Survival of the Dead (2009). While these have fallen upon mixed reviews, the importance of Romero doing what he does best should not be overlooked.

Zombies are pretty much everywhere now. Video games, board games, dozens of straight to DVD titles line the shelves of stores with happy rotting faces racing there covers. Even zombie comedies have become popular. Zombieland (2009) and Shaun of the Dead (2003), both zombie-comedies, were not only hilarious and excellent films but also two of the best horror films I’ve seen in years.

With these positives growing from the seeds of Resident Evil and House of the Dead (2003) it goes to show that bad movies can sometimes help to refresh a genre. Hey, maybe that’s what our buddy Rob Zombie is hoping for…maybe not.

Final Scare

Noooooooooo!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!

So, are we hopeful for the next ten years of horror? It is hard to be. One of the most telling events of where the genre is going was Let The Right One In (2008) being slated for Americanization in the form of Let Me In (2010). Originality is not spilling all over with the blood here in The States these days. Recently, fans of the genre are turning to foreign films because of their ability to be different, raw, and generally less influenced by the norms and taboos us Yanks are used to, which probably is what makes the need to import every decent horror film over here that much more offensive. Not everything good has to be seen through American-goggles.

We have to sadly acknowledge that the remake machine isn’t stopping anytime soon and focus our attention toward foreign and indie horror.  There’s a lot of crap to sort through, but there are still some gifted horror filmmakers out there somewhere waiting to take the genre in new directions.

And what would a end-of-the-decade blog post be without a list or two.  Here are our favorite films of the decade.  I think we already give enough attention to the worst of the genre around here, so we’ll forego that list. Here’s to hoping for a new movement of originality in our already saturated genre.

Happy New Year.

Chris

10. The Hamiltons (2005)

9. The Children (2008)

8. Drag Me to Hell (2009)

7. Dead Girl (2008)

6. The Descent (2005)

5. The Orphanage (2007)

4. Shaun of the Dead

3. Land of the Dead (2005)

2. Let The Right One In (2008)

1. 28 Days Later (2002)

Matt

10. Paranormal Activity (2009)

9. Frailty (2001)

8. Dog Soldiers (2002)

7. [REC] (2007)

6. Ginger Snaps (2002)

5. Martyrs (2008)

4. 28 Days Later (2002)

3. The Descent (2005)

2. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

1. Let The Right One In (2008)

And these movies got way too many props:

1) Inside (2007)

2) High Tension (2003)

3) Midnight Meat Train (2008)

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H2 Review

halloween-2-new-teaserI feel like I’ve been gearing up to write about this movie for a decade now.  Seriously though, the anticipated failure of H2 has been a hot topic for months now.  And now the movie is out, I’ve seen it and maybe I can pick a new topic to obsess about.  Anyway, here we go.

As I just said, I’ve had nothing but contempt for the idea of this film ever since Rob Zombie’s initial attempt at the Michael Myers legend.  Zombie’s Halloween was a trough of cliches, ill-placed cameos, bad acting and worst of all, it wasn’t scary.  So, I expected nothing more from H2 and I wasn’t far off.  Rather than attempt to remake the original Halloween II, Zombie took his film in an entirely different direction.  This film bears no resemblance to its 1981 predecessor, save for a quick scene in Haddonfield hospital.

H2 picks up right where Halloween left off – Michael is seemingly dead at the hands of Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton), Annie (Danielle Harris) has been taken away in an ambulance and Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) appears to be dead as well.  Sheriff Bracket (Brad Dourif – who gives the only decent performance in this film) finds Laurie hobbling down the street covered in blood, holding a gun and whimpering “I killed him” over and over.  Myers’ body is taken away in a van and Laurie is swiftly admitted to the hospital.  Now, about five minutes in, enter your first taste of Zombie’s white trash dialogue as the one of the morgue workers tells his buddy that he was getting turned on by the dead body he saw at the Myers’ place.  Coroners are creepy – get it?  Right.

Picture 3While engaged in this conversation, the driver stops paying attention and plows right into a cow standing in the middle of the road.  The impact apparently jostles Michael awake and he proceeds to murder the coroner who survived the crash, ending his thoughts of raping dead bodies.  Following this, Michael tracks Laurie down at the hospital and stalks her.  While not great, this scene was ultimately H2′s most effective one.  There is at least a little tension as Laurie attempts to flee with her leg in a huge cast and as she tries to hide in a security outpost booth.  Unfortunately, this turns out to only be a dream sequence.  It’s as if Zombie is showing us that he can create some suspense and then tells us to forget it – it’s just a dream.

Flash forward a year later – Myers’ body is missing, Laurie is living with the Bracketts, and Loomis has become an astonishing sell-out douchebag who is hocking a book about Myers.  We learn that Myers has been biding his time in the outskirts of Haddonfield and growing one hell of a beard in the process.  As Halloween nears, he migrates back toward his former home to unleash more mayhem.  That’s the basic plot.  I won’t spoil much more than that.  Actually, I probably will in a few hundred words when I talk about the ending.

Picture 2As you may know already, Zombie chose to physically manifest Myers’ evil motivations.  The ghost of Deborah Myers (Sherri Moon Zombie, of course) and the spirit of Michael as a young boy are shown literally guiding Myers as he carries out his crimes.  Sherri even walks with a white horse.  This frustrating melodrama continues throughout the entire film under the guise of being eerie but fails to illicit anything more than an eye roll.

Worse yet, Zombie introduces the idea that Laurie and Michael are psychically linked.  That is, Laurie begins having visions about Myers as he kills people in order to get closer to her.  I have some thoughts about Carpenter’s choice to reveal Laurie as Myers’ sister in the original Halloween II, but at least he did it without cheesy visions and backlit ghostly incarnations of his mother.  Zombie’s Myers is hell bent on killing Laurie in order to satisfy his mother (in his head, I guess…bah, who cares?).

While Zombie’s first attempt at this franchise relied on cheap jumps and the “scary” idea of a child torturing animals and other pop-psychology cliches, H2 goes straight to violence for the sake of violence.  Here is how Michael kills people in H2: Stab, victim falls.  Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, and then….stab.  All the while, Myers is grunting up a storm.  Beyond those kills, Zombie goes so over the top with his violence that it just becomes cheap and stupid.  Sure, it may be brutal to watch for the first 15 minutes of the film but eventually you find yourself desensitized and bored.  Violence alone cannot make up for the fact that this movie is not scary.

We have a decent amount of hick screen time in H2, as well.  All the locals speak like they’re from Tennessee, with the exception of the main characters of course.  And in this “extreme vision”, Haddonfield Halloween parties seem to include to include strippers on stage with a band.

**HUGE SPOILER ALERT** What annoyed me the most was this movie’s ending.  After Myers takes Laurie prisoner in a barn, she too starts to see Deborah’s ghost and becomes physically restrained by long-haired child Michael.  When Michael is cut down by Sheriff Brackett’s sniper rifle, he falls into some spikes (farming equipment, I assume).  Laurie comes to his side, strokes his face, and says “I love you brother”.  She then proceeds to stab Michael about a dozen times until he is dead.  I’m sure you can see where this is going.  Laurie walks out of the barn wearing Myers’ mask (which looks hysterical on her small body).  She ends up in a mental institution much like her dead brother did so long ago.  The camera zooms in on her face and she issues a menacing smile while Sherri Moon walks down the corridor with her stupid horse.  The cycle begins anew.

That’s all.  What can I say?  Yeah, it was definitely better than Zombie’s first Halloween.  He toned down the hicks a bit and left Sid Haig out of the picture at least.  However, Zombie continues to prove that he’s not capable of doing anything other than what he’s done before.  There’s nothing interesting, scary, or different here.  The plot is bare bones, we don’t care about any of the characters, Loomis plays literally no role, and Zombie throws in pointless scenes of Myers killing locals for violence’s sake.  This is Myers at his most human and it is also Myers at his worst.  Fans of John Carpenter’s Halloween, Rob Zombie has a message for you:

Myersfuck

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Halloween 7.5: The Rehabilitation of Michael Myers

This is probably where we’ll end up if Zombie keeps making “human” Michael movies….

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New Unused H2 Trailer

I’m late to the game here (as always) but an unused H2 trailer surfaced this week on Bloody-Disgusting, giving us some more insight about Zombie’s redneck rehash plot.

I’m not sure if this was used in the previous trailer (maybe I just didn’t notice it), but does Michael really spray paint “Welcome to my holiday” on a wall?  REALLY? That’s the corniest shit I’ve ever seen.  I’ll be at the theater in a week to see this and as well done as the trailers are from a production standpoint, I can only believe they will be misleading.  I hate this pop-psychology inspired Michael.  But I’ll give it a chance…

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New images from H2 and NOES

h2newexclusive080209My favorite filmmaker, Rob Zombie, has released a new image from Halloween 2 (courtesy of Bloody Disgusting) which is set to open on August 28th.  This new still shows Michael in his long-haired child stage restraining an adult Laurie.  I assume this is some kind of dream sequence, as this situation is chronologically impossible.  But then again, with Rob Zombie you never know.  Also this synopsis:

“Unleashing a trail of terror that only horror master Rob Zombie can, Myers will stop at nothing to bring closure to the secrets of his twisted past. But the town’s got an unlikely new hero, if they can only stay alive long enough to stop the unstoppable.”

I agree with one thing here.  Rob Zombie definitely can unleash a trail of terror – namely, his career as a filmmaker.  Truly terrifying.  But despite the fact that it will probably be about 101 minutes of rednecks, cliches and a few jump scares, I have to go see it.  I suffer for my hobbies.

In somewhat happier news (depending on your stance), Platinum Dunes released its first image of Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger in their 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Part of me wants to not like this movie because I’m generally annoyed at remakes and “re-imaginings”.  While the original NOES is a great genre-influencing film, as the series progressed, Freddy became a caricature of himself.  The terrifying Freddy of 1984 was replaced with a sarcastic ghoul who spouts one-liners.

From what I’ve seen and read so far, it seems like Freddy is returning to form with this new film.  He looks pretty damn creepy in this shot anyway.  I’m down for this one.  Hopefully we’ll get a trailer soon.

freddyfirst072209

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Rumors that I hope aren’t true

halloween3This just in – Rob Zombie may be remaking Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.  It’s not confirmed yet but it just appeared on Horror Bid. Why?  Just why?  Not that Season of the Witch was anything great but damnit, how does this guy keep getting financing?!  Make it stop.  Please?

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